January 1st:
Each page and word count of book so far:
Document 1: 98 pages, 53,883 words
Document 2: 103 pages, 65,415 words
Document 3: 104 pages, 60,462 words
Document 4: [I forgot to record the page count], 50,409 words so far
Total book word count so far: 230,169 words
January 2nd:
Document 4: 52,011 words
January 3rd:
Document 4: 52,928 words
January 4th:
Document 4: 53,073 words
January 5th:
Document 4: 53,843 words
Starting next week, I have to work on Fridays from now on. That means less writing late at night. But at least it's one less night.
I'll try to stress the importance to my family once again how they need to be more considerate when I'm trying to write, they're talking to each other at an unnecessary volume nonstop, and they're wanting to talk to me every 5 - 10 minutes. It probably won't work, simply because they're impulsive and lack the empathy of normal human beings (Then again, with the lack that I see in the world, maybe the whole world is breaking), are forgetful, and obviously don't understand the importance of what I'm making. All they see me do is sit in a chair and look at an inanimate object for hours. *sighs* It's too expensive for me (and them, especially since the rent and other bills were recently raised) to move out into my own place, so I'm stuck with these chatty squawkers.
But I should no longer complain. What benefit is there to be bitter about what you can not change? Dwelling in a way that makes your heart bitter only leads to you becoming a bitter person overall. I'll just have to continue finding ways that deter them until a company out there starts making non-writer human deterrent. Lol. 😄
Edit: Woohoo! I added some new features I think you'll like!
1. You can comment on posts without needing a Google+ account!
2. You can search for previous posts.
3. You can subscribe to the blog via email whenever I make a new post each month. Tip: Be sure to save the email you get at the beginning of the month, as I add to it until the end of the month. I only make a new post once a month. (Personally, I don't like getting a ton of emails, and I think you'd appreciate it, too.)
4. Poll. Personally, I love polls. It stems from my love of multiple choice questions in school. (Funny thing: I used to hate them when I was in Elementary school!) This month's poll is: What's your favorite Fantasy creature? The choices I give you are but some of the creatures you'll find in my book series. Of course, they're not your typical kind of dragons, etc. All of my creatures have several things about them you'd never dream they'd have or be able to do. Especially the Elves. ...And yes, I capitalize the E in Elves for an important reason. ...No spoilers! Hahaha! 😁
But really, think about it. I don't want to wreck the surprise for any of you. I love watching people's reactions. They're the best parts of giving gifts: Suspense and watching people's reactions.
...But I don't prolong the waiting for that reason. It takes a long time to write a story! I'm not a slow typer or anything, as my wpm (words per minute) is an average speed.
It's just a combination of things: The average time I write each day is about 2 hours. During that time, I briefly stop and imagine what should happen next. That can be anywhere from a few seconds to 5 minutes at a time, depending on how long or complex the following scenes or dialogue is going to be. If I'm having trouble problem-solving for my characters, or otherwise figuring out the specific sequence of all that should happen next, sometimes my thinking overheats and I have to make my mind go blank so as to prevent a total shutdown caused by frustration or an anxiety attack. This doesn't happen often, but when it does occur, I usually get up and eat/drink [not alcohol, mind you], go to social media to get my mind off it temporarily (*Twitter, Pinterest, DeviantArt, etc.), stare at the screen, or... most likely, I go back and read 1 - 3 pages before where I left off. Sometimes 4 or 6 pages, if I'm really stumped. But I do that whenever I sit down to write. I read a little before where I left off. That way, my mind's fully into the story, and I'm less conscious of the real world around me (But that's often interrupted when my family talks or makes too much noise, which is why I find it difficult to write when they're still awake, thus why I like writing late at night.). It prevents writer's block, and it makes it run away and cry for its mommy when it threatens to settle in.
*pandiculates* But look at me! I'm rambling again! Good thing I don't write my books like how I talk, or I'd get nowhere! Haha! 😄 Enjoy the new blog features! And please feel free to let me know what you think
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January 7th:
Document 4: 57,798 words
Woohoo! I'm roaring through! Plenty of words has been written since I was able to focus and write all day. Avoiding social media first thing in the morning helps. It prevents procrastination.
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January 8th:
Document 4: 58,850
January 9th:
Document 4: 58,982
January 10th:
Document 4: 60,022
Pages: 100
Since I want to keep each document to a limit of approximately 100 pages, time for Document 5! (December 10th continued into Document 5)
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January 13th:
Document 4: 59,943
Take that back about starting Document 5. I didn't like the last scene because I wrote it half asleep and the informative dialogue of a character didn't make sense. I just thought it was stupid and unnecessary, so I deleted a good 100 - 300 words, rewrote it, and make it much better. I don't often delete scenes like that. I hate doing that too early, but it was necessary because it would have affected future scenes.
January 14th:
Document 4: 59,947 (100 pages, just a few touch-ups, and then on to Document 5)
Document 5: 229
January 15th:
Document 5: 304
January 16th:
Document 5: 2,951
Nothing much happening in life. Rent went up by $50, and my mom is freaking out because she's also making payments on hospital bills from a couple of months ago, as well as paying a little extra on a phone bill we had to make payments on in December.
Many people tend to make payments on their bills in December for the sake of saving money and buying Christmas gifts instead. We don't normally do that, but our electricity bill went up because it's been an unusually cold winter here so far, and we've been running the heaters more often. Thankfully, the day temperatures are going to be in the low 50's (Fahrenheit) this week for the first time in several weeks. (Brr! I hate it when it's in the 40's and 30's! My hands and feet get cold easily, and that's when I can't focus well on writing! I get too restless, trying to get warm again between writing "bursts". Even though my main character loves cold temperatures, I don't! ...Except when it snows. I can spend a long time outside making snowmen and snow sculptures, taking pictures of snow falling, etc.
Now then... I need to get ready for bed. I'm going to start going to bed earlier for now on. I'm tired of being tired at work. Not a good thing to feel in such an important place. I take my job seriously, but since I barely survived during an especially busy day last week with my now-shorter hours barely giving me enough time to finish my duties that day (At one point, I was feeling a tiny bit faint), I really gotta start taking my health seriously, too. ...Haha, and that includes my weight. I don't look it except for my face (I have unusually thick cheeks, according to a few dentists, so any slight bit of chubbiness is noticeable) and one other area, but I'm actually getting a little bit overweight. Since lack of sleep can make you heavier, I'm going to try getting at least 8 hours of sleep each day. 7 isn't enough, but it looks like tonight it will be approximately that much.
And don't get me started on taking a nap after work. After that one time I had a seriously bad nightmare after school back in high school, I've rarely had the courage to take a nap during the daytime. And lately I've been having uncomfortable dreams. Dreams that are sort of bad dreams, but they're more unsettling than scary.
Like that one I had just the other day: It was a short dream just before I woke up, but I was looking closely at an old table with ants eating at the center of it. There was one unusually large termite in the mix that had been trying to eat the table, too, but the ants killed it and had since continued working. The environment I was in had a disgusting, sticky feel to it, the kind of feeling you get when you touch something sticky like dried, sticky apple juice that had been sticking to a table in a filthy, abandoned house, or like being in someone's filthy, smelly house. ...I swear, out of all homes I've ever visited, most were filthy and smelly.
I suppose mine is smelly a little bit. Having a cat litter box and a smelly dog does give this place a musty smell. But it's mostly the dog. Even a week after giving her a bath, she has a musty, greasy dog smell to her. Whatever she sleeps on ends up smelling like her. I've had to wash my robe a few times from forgetting it on the couch. One time, my mom had just pulled out the laundry out of the dryer, and she thought it was okay for Sandy to lie on my robe while she folded the laundry! I was a bit upset about it that time. I had been anticipating wearing it on that cold evening (I wear my robe all the time when it's cold), but the smell that had basically been stamped on made me gag.
Oh, I just remembered yet another bit of proof as to why I can't take a nap during the day. As I was saying a little bit ago, I've been having sort of bad dreams lately, right? Well, this morning, I guess this can be called an actual bad dream:
I was high up in an apartment skyscraper in Tokyo, and I was looking outside, staring in shock at the skycraper across from me rocking back and forth, the building having a split down the center, opening and closing. My building was rocking, too. We were having an earthquake. I finally took action and told an unknown person, "We need to get out of here, NOW!" and ran across a small living room. In my mind, I knew it would be a bad idea if I tried taking an elevator down, but I wondered if my building had stairs. I don't know why I even questioned that possibility.
I can't remember what all that happened in the dream, but it was so detailed, it was beautiful. I don't often have dreams that have many things like countless cars, buildings, people, voices, and the individual waves of the ocean glittering in the sunshine of a sunrise or a sunset, so it was breathtaking.
Down below, on the street, people were running and panicking, and several exclamations could be heard. I couldn't understand any of them. My brain didn't even form whole words in my head. Maybe except for one lady exclaiming, "Ichiohua!" According to Google Translate, it means "Position off." Well, I hope that's what it means. I don't want to be accidentally cussing on here just because Google Translate decides to make mistakes, like it always does. ...But I don't know. Maybe my memory is failing to remember what the lady was really saying. It could have been "Tichio" or "Hichio", but since I don't trust Google Translate to be translating my words correctly, I'm going to stop guessing.
Anyway, time is dragging me down, and I'm going to have about 6 hours of sleep now. (Oops.) So, I'll try to make this quick: The rest of the dream involved me trying to locate my family (For some reason, I switched from being me to my male cousin-in-law) by going through crowded road barriers, climbing over fences, and climbing up steep hills away from the city. I eventually found L (my cousin's name abbreviated for privacy) and the three kids. Oh, and I was the only one who had our van keys for some reason, so L and the kids had to wait until I made it to them to drive us out of there. But I woke before we went anywhere. I think it was my sigh of relief of finally seeing all three kids and L together safe and sound that might have woken me up. Oh, yeah. And I had called L on my cell phone several times during the long trek. And I was wearing a grey-blue business suit with white cuffs. Maybe my apartment doubled as my personal office? Either way, my suit and the apartment/office looked snazzy. Too bad there was a small split in the floor. ...That's right. I remember that now. I had to jump over that in my wooden living room floor. And there was a circle of floor cushions near my feet.
Agh. I knew I shouldn't have blogged tonight. I stopped writing at a decent time, thinking I was doing so good so far. Oh well, tomorrow night is another opportunity.
Good night, and stay safe! If you live in earthquake country, put together a survival pack near your front door. I need to do the same, too. A deadly earthquake is due to hit this region any possible day, according to experts. Then again, if the predicted earthquake were to hit here, I'd be gone in seconds. This whole area by the coast would be liquefied. So, if you hear of Seattle and the coast stretching 30 - 40 miles north of it being wiped out or having severe damage from an earthquake, call me gone. (P.S. I'd live anywhere else but here, but I love my job, and my mom and sister would find it impossible to keep up with the bills. Plus, they're too stubborn to leave this city, and I care too much about them to leave them unprotected. Neither of them have much of a head on their shoulders. Most of their heads have been hacked off. They're both like a Nearly Headless Nick from the Harry Potter series. ...But enough with funny/weird similes. Time to force myself off the internet to tackle Life and win one of its clever, unpredictable games: A game called "tomorrow."
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January 21st:
Document 5: 6,162
January 22nd:
Document 5: 9,374
January 23rd:
Document 5: 10,867
January 24th:
Document 5: 10,913
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Oops. It's March 11th, and I haven't been updating this blog. Nothing bad has happened. Blogging just takes away portions of my writing time. I'll try blogging at the end of every month at least, so this won't happen again. I can't perfectly guarantee I will, as life can be unpredictable, but it's now my goal. So, sorry for not blogging this long. Now to catch up....
January 26th:
Document 5: 10,935
January 28th:
Document 5: 11,589
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Friday, January 6, 2017
Thursday, June 16, 2016
June 2016
Phew. I'm so glad that's all over. Well, except for when I visit with an aunt and several cousins this weekend.
What am I talking about, you ask? Birthdays. It might have not been a great idea to carry out old, dusty, moldy furniture out of my bedroom and organize everything into plastic containers, but I really wanted to do it before the birthday parties just in case anybody poked their heads in the bedroom and saw the pile of clothes and junk everywhere.
I don't like being judged for my messes, as you can tell. I like having a clean, organized home when I have people over, even when they're not my own guests. If I live under a roof, I'm fully capable of helping my family clean things up. Unfortunately, my family doesn't have as much of the same preference that I do. They throw their junk and shoes anywhere they like when they feel tired or lazy, which is basically all the time. What drives me crazy the most is when they make high traffic areas an obstacle course, most commonly with their shoes.
Personally, I don't enjoy watching other people get hurt. I watched enough of that when I was little. And I don't like feeling that rush of adrenaline, sudden anxiety, and fear of being unable to get my footing and that I'm about to fall down. I'm not accident-prone, nor do I have a knack for falling down, but I do remember what it's like to live with both problems (I was a clumsy kid and later learned to avoid bumps, bruises, and scrapes by being too slow. Once puberty hit, I got clumsy again and often bruised my then-wider hips, so I had to re-learn my old method.).
So, I've grown into a hyper-self-aware, alert, and perhaps over-careful, individual. Since I don't like disasters (and watching disaster movies, a.k.a. horrible-things-happening-and-everything-going-wrong-throughout-the-movie "comedies"), I sometimes can't stand it anymore and get frustrated when I accidentally kick or trip on something. But I do nothing more than "Agh!" and "Argh!" like a human-wookie crossbreed, shove things over to the side, and growl a sentence or two of my extremely-wanted request to "Can we please just...!" and "That way, nobody has to trip and smash their face on anything!"
I don't like being angry. It's not a good feeling, and it definitely doesn't feel good. Many people like the feeling because it gives them a [false] sense of power, simply because they see others cower down, give them fearful looks, and obey them. But it always feels empty in the end, like it was stupid to throw a fit in the first place. Some people are blind to that realization, however. They simply think and act by the motion of emotion. It's basically like stimming when you have autism, which is what my brother has.
For example, when he doesn't want to do something, like following the rules: His simpleminded thoughts are, when asked to turn down his headphones in a public place: "I WANT to listen to my music on my headphones!" His feelings: Stubbornness; "I want what I want"; "I don't WANT to give it up!"; "But I'm having too much fun, and I refuse to give it up!"; "I just started, so I'm not going to listen to you." (regardless of the actual time duration, even long periods of time feel like a few minutes. It's kind of like sleep, where they lose touch with reality and when they block things out due to stress.); and "I feel too comfortable to leave my comfort zone."
I have a character that basically represents anger. Mind you, it's very different from that new Disney/Pixar movie, um.... What's it called again? (I haven't watched it, yet, but I know as a matter of fact that he's not like my character.) *looks it up* Inside Out. Anyway, the character is nothing near like him. And yes, I'll be watching it soon. I bought the DVD for my sister's birthday. She'll want me to watch it with her just as much as how one of my best friends wants me to watch it.
Does this mean that I have other characters that represent emotions? ...More or less. Yes and no. Maybe and sort of. It's a long story to explain how my story world works. It would probably take me about 30 minutes up to an hour to go over just enough to explain that one single thing, just to answer that question.
4,011 words total (separate document)
1:30 AM
June 15th
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Well, my sister caught a 24-hour flu bug this morning. Just a bad headache, nausea, and little upchucking this morning. I wasn't sure whether it was the chicken teriyaki I got her yesterday, but I didn't want to risk going to work today because:
1. She can't really take care of herself or know what to do because of her autism. For instance, I had to give her water because she was dry heaving.
2. Since I ate a ton of sushi and chicken yakisoba from the same restaurant, I didn't want to risk hurling all over books, toys, and people. (Yes, there are toys in libraries. You didn't know that? Pick yourself up and go to your nearest public library, unless you live many miles away from it. Also, many people still think that librarians are cranky old ladies whose only form of communication is shushing. Another thing that many people still think is that libraries are boring and full of books. Good grief. It's the 21st century! Libraries also have DVDs, Blu-rays, CDs, free internet access on computers, WiFi, laptops, iPads, and fun events going on each month. The toys are in the play areas and a bunch of other ones are played with during Storytime. If I've mentioned this before and I don't remember, it's probably because I tend to write in this blog when it's late at night. My apologies. I have no clue how many people are actually reading my blog. Whenever I look at the Google Analytics (a feature that shows me how many people in each country and at each approximate time that people look at my blog and blog posts), I just figure that most people take at glance at this blog and move on. I mainly write in here as a sort of diary and writing log, only thinking that at least one person I know in real life is reading it. I don't feel bad if nobody is actually reading it. Personally, it reminds me of looking through a calendar at the end of the year, or looking through an old calendar from several years ago: You see what exciting things you did on certain days. I guess not all people do this [and, in fact, I admit to not doing this as much as I used to], but I once wrote the details of what happened each day at the end of each day noteworthy. For example, if I went to Wild Waves and Enchanted Village [a theme park I used to go to often with my aunt], I'd mention things like: "I got a big ice cream cone!" or [At Fright Fest near Halloween, same theme park] "I wore my Scream mask and people liked it!" Some days were bad days and I'd write, "I fell down and sprained my ankle. :'( " Eventually, I didn't write anything on bad days, especially when my aunt would verbally and mentally abuse me. Instead, I'd cross out the day not with a straight X, but with a wavy X, as though it were a drawing of tears running down a person's face. Anyway, at the end of the first year of treating my calendar as a sort of diary, I realized how fun and interesting keeping track of my life really was. This blog is a form of that, with me writing down significant events each day [Well, almost. But I recently decided to change that, as you know.], like a diary. Anyway, back to this list. Lol. I get so sidetracked when writing letters and blogging. Don't worry. I don't write my books like this. I'm more strict on myself with my books. I just ramble, don't judge myself, and feel free and comfortable when I write letters and blog posts.)
3. I forgot the third reason. (If you forgot what the heck I was talking about in this list, scroll up a little to check. I just now had to do that, too. Me = Ramblehead!) Ah, yes. Now I remember. I had 3 hours of sleep last night because I was having too much anxiety and restlessness to get off the computer (I tend to go back and forth between Facebook [I only Friend family and friends I've met and known for a while in real life, save for a rare few people who are the only exceptions.] and Twitter [I'm @Jennifer_Fulk] a gazillion times.). I finally got off the computer late at night, took a shower, and went to bed at past 3 AM. I would have gone to work anyway if it wasn't for my sister getting sick, though, which taking care of her is my top priority and reason when she gets sick. I've gone to work before on 4 hours of sleep. Although I wouldn't recommend it for anyone, half the time this happens, I tend to be wide awake and functional throughout the day until I get home. Maybe I run on adrenaline on those days.... Then again, I run on adrenaline all the time anyway because I prefer to not have to lean on a cane at this age (a.k.a. I refuse to have to depend on caffeine. It's healthier, I'm not getting addicted to anything, and I'm not wrecking my body from the inside). Yeah, it's not healthy to get 4 - 6 hours of sleep each night, but I'm working on a plan to fix that by sheer will. Perfect, structured routines are my worst enemy, thanks to my aunt (Mind you, I have 4 aunts, but that one is remembered by all of the family to be the meanest. Yeah, she was horrible as a kid, too. The type that makes even the parents afraid [and lenient! Worst parenting idea - ever!], which is kind of what created her in the first place.). But I don't use that as an excuse for my self-destructive behavior. It was only last week that I finally figured out what is wrong with me: The procrastination and "fear" of doing anything is the result of the constant rush and anxiety I went through daily. Knowing the need to hurry, but having flashbacks of having to rush to bed and the intense anxiety and fear associated with it, I end up putting it off by doing things that take my mind off of it. But where's the stopping point? There is none. It's a vicious cycle. The only way that I can feel comfortable going to bed is letting myself burn out: When I'm very tired and I'm starting to fall asleep. Unfortunately, that isn't the greatest choice when you have to take a shower as well, especially when you have work in the morning. Instead of saying, "I'm screwed for life", I'm going to try to help myself the best I can. I can go through rounds of therapy with some therapist, but therapists don't make much money, and just about anybody can be hired to be one, regardless if you have training or special degrees or not. In the end, it's all depending on me anyway, so I might as well treat myself. It isn't a serious mental condition, I've just got to look inside myself and break a bad habit by fixing my "running-out-of-time-just-before-the-end-of-the-world" panic and anxiety.
Oh, yeah. And my sister is feeling better now. There's a weird, short-lived flu bug going around. A lot of people at my mom's work have been getting it, a friend who lives nearby got on the same day as my sister, and my little cousin caught a similar one about 70 miles away at the same time, too. I think it's the weather. We've been getting a pattern of cool and warm, cool and warm weather lately. A few days ago, it was cold. Like, in the lower 50s kind of cold. Then it got warm in the upper 60s again. I think that day was to blame for all the people getting it today.
Something unrelated: If you have access to YouTube, I recommend subscribing to the channel, "50 ducks in a hot tub". Matt, his ducks, and his dog, Dug, are like one big, funny family. You'll know what I mean when you watch several videos. Recently, Matt got a tear in an unfortunate place, so he's going through a lot of pain right now, but he recently got a huge hatch of the cutest, funniest ducklings you'll ever see. Whenever he goes in their barn, their God-sent therapy immediately takes the pain away. It makes me almost cry (and now the tears finally come. *reaches for tissue, because it always annoyingly drains through my nose*), seeing them rushing over to him, crowding around him, and nibbling on his shoes and legs (They're actually grooming him and treating him like he's their mommy or daddy.). He's never had a hatch that behaved like this. He recently decided to lay down among them to see what would happen, and the result was adorable beyond reason.
Oh, and I forgot to mention: I stayed awake and was on the computer for a bit this morning before I ate a bowl of cereal. My sister was doing better the whole time I was doing those things (an hour or two?), so I decided to go back to bed. I was too tired to go immediately to the store to get her 7Up. I decided to set my cell phone alarms so that I'd get a few more hours of sleep. After all, her loud dry heaves woke me up an hour before I was supposed to wake up. So I had 3 hours of sleep instead of 4. I figured that added 3 more hours would give me 6 hours of sleep total to get by. However, when my alarms went off, I shut them all off while I was half-asleep, deciding that I would sleep for 5 more minutes and wake up on my own (Of course, that never works for most people. It only works for me every once in a while, but not when I'm extremely tired.). Well, let me tell you, I've been feeling utterly exhausted since last Friday. I had to move a load of clothes and belongings into containers, as well as a couple of large bits of furniture in and out of my room that day. The next day, I had to finish up with that project, as well as vacuum, decorate, and otherwise preparing for my sister's birthday party. By the next day, on my birthday, I was utterly spent. But I still had tons of stuff to do. Monday, that next day, I have little memory of. I wasn't too busy, but I guess I was tired enough not to remember how tired I was. Tuesday was terrible. My eyes were heavy and kept going out of focus, and I felt like I was going to fall asleep any minute, all day. Thankfully, I wasn't rushing around. I sat most of the time at work cleaning stuff. On Wednesday, I was unusually wide awake and clear-thinking, but I remember I had 5 hours of sleep, one hour less than the night before. I guess I was running on adrenaline that day. Then... Thursday, today. ...Er, well. Yesterday, that is. It's 2:50 AM, so it's technically Friday right now. Whatever.
My poor cat is yelling at me with raspy-voiced barks: "Eh!!" "Ow!!" "En!!" She wants me to go to bed, but I want to write. She doesn't realize I don't have to get up early in the morning.
Agh! I keep wanting to tell you, but I keep on rambling and getting sidetracked! Here, I'll just say it: I slept for 10 hours! That was 3 hours last night, and, when I went back to bed, I accidentally slept for 7 hours (until 4:30-ish PM. My mom coming home and talking with my sister in the living room woke me up). When I woke up, I was a little afraid that it may be because I was going to be sick soon, too, but then I remembered that it was simply because I had been exhausted. I felt more refreshed, more than I have felt in a while, so it all worked out in the end.
Anyway, it's 3:00 AM. Time to write for a little bit, then I need to go to bed. (But I'm pretty tired, now. I'll decide what to do once I start reading a little bit before where I left off. If I know what to write and my imagination is functioning well, I'll know.) ...No. You know what? I think I'll go to bed. I need to have a time limit, even on weekends. 3 AM, no later. Closing my eyes right now, I know I am too tired. Good night. (I need to start listening to my cat more.... Lol.)
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3:48 AM (Oops. But it's the weekend. Then again, I overworked my body today. I'll be feeling it tomorrow. And sleep in. At least I feel like I wrote enough, though. I haven't gone far very much these past past several months.)
4,289 words total separate document
June 18th
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3:07 AM
4,564 words total in separate document
June 19th
Not much to say. My sister wanted me to watch Zootopia with her and Mom at dinnertime (Dinner was late), then we watched 50 Ducks in a Hot Tub videos late into the night. Oh, and yes. I was sore all day today. I didn't have that much of an appetite, though. My metabolism goes way low on weekends, when I'm not doing anything. I end up eating a bowl of cereal for breakfast, snacks throughout the day, and any-sized dinner. That's about it. Anyways, I am falling asleep as I am typing this, so I bid you a good night.
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Unknown time. Likely around 7:30 PM.
5,267 words total in separate document
June 25th
Whew! I'm getting closer to where this part of the story will join the main part. What do I mean and how did this happen? Well, I've heard of some writers doing this, and I'm no exception (In fact, I've always been like this! It's rather annoying.): When I start writing a story, I don't know how exactly to begin. I don't know what the first sentence will be, and I don't know what the first few chapters will be like. I have the feel (The mood of the story? It's hard to describe "the feel", putting it in words, but I hope you can understand. It's what writers seek when they sit down in front of the story they're writing. It's kind of like trying to remember how an orchestrated song goes in a movie in a battle scene. It ain't easy to grasp the movement, the flurry, and the excitement, and forcing your own emotions to feel fear as though you're running around fighting an invisible enemy when you're sitting in a chair. I guess another way to describe it is when you have to stop a Star Wars movie in the middle of it, and, the next day, trying to remember what just happened and how you felt during the seconds before where you left off.), ...You know what? I just rambled after four words in a sentence. Redo! (I hate it when I do that.) I have the feel and I know the most important things that will happen, but the imagination runs dry, so I "make a summary" of these most important events so that I can think over them and daydream a little. Fortunately and unfortunately, I get inspired after several sentences or paragraphs. Once I've started, I'm unstoppable. It's a powerful thrill, as though I were reading a good, fast-paced book. The only difference? I'm not flipping pages like crazy, I'm typing like crazy. I want to know what happens next just as much as a reader.
Soooo, anyway. (I'm getting off-topic and disorganized because I'm falling asleep at the computer again [Yeah. it's 3:29 AM, June 26th.].) That's why and what I'm doing. 39 words turned into 5,267 words so far. *I'll continue this tomorrow. I honestly can't stay awake any longer.
...I'm back. 2:07 PM, June 26th! That purple section above is what I added in just now. I'm in a writing mood, so I rambled. Oops. But I felt the need to explain what I meant by "the feel". Oftentimes people don't understand what I'm saying, other times they're too afraid of asking and looking stupid, so they dismiss it that I'm stupid and ignore me, pretending that I'm invisible. Maybe it's just that I often feel invisible because people don't talk to me much in real life. But I don't blame them. I'm horrible at talking. I stumble over words a lot, I stutter a little, I process thoughts slower than the average person, and when I don't talk fast and stumble over my words, I talk slowly. Autism sucks. And people make assumptions, they think I'm done talking because I also pause in between 1 - 5? words, I get interrupted, etc., etc. I get frustrated with myself when I pause and have something to add to what I say, and then other people talk and change the subject just when I open my mouth again. Do I have to keep my mouth open, or something? Then again, they look away anyway. It's probably not me. Chatty people constantly talk because it feels good on their jaws or something. Maybe they just like competition, and they're not used to being around slow-thinkers. Chatty people do hang with chatty people. That makes sense. They're adapted to thinking fast so they can can jump in and say whatever they want when they want. But I don't like interrupting people because I know how it feels to be interrupted. It's even more awful for me because when I'm interrupted, I instantly forget what I was just saying and what I was about to say. This is why I give up talking altogether. I'm not very talkative, but when I am, it's when people want to talk to me. I like people who are happy to invite others to their conversations. And asking questions. I'm great with answering them. Advice, too. Figuring out how to do something or getting around obstacles? I love doing that. Using odd objects for tools rather than traditional ones? That's often the right way to do them. It's hard for many people to think outside the box, because they're used to a systematic way of doing things (e.g. "following the crowd"). I used to be stupid and couldn't figure out anything, so don't think I'm some genius or something. We all can learn new ways of doing things if we just look around us and think more independently. And being more careful. Slow and easy wins the race.
...But enough about that. I've probably mentioned the same things several times already. I'm too lazy to go back and look, but at least you can learn a little more about me when I put things in different words. And hey, you could be autistic, too. Maybe you didn't understand something I said before, and are understanding it better since I put it a different way this time? The variety in the things that happen in life are endless. Anything can happen, anytime, anywhere, at just the right time, for many reasons we often can not see.
^And, no. I don't feel like fixing that ridiculously long "paragraph" right now. I'd rather write [in my story] so I can get closer to the day that I can publish it and bring it to you! The long wait is so worth it! (P.S. I'm horrible at writing letters. This blog comes somewhere between writing a letter and story writing. Half-good, half-bad. When I'm writing my stories, it just comes out so naturally. Grammar, spelling, organization, etc. I think it's because I am passionate and love my stories. Everything else? I let myself be lazy. Kind of like the way I talk, only faster-thinking due to lack of anxiety, and a lot more relaxed. I honestly don't know how many of you read my blog, but I'm okay with it. I feel like I'm talking to a person who happens to be a *very* good listener. Thank you for not interrupting me! Hahaha!
Okay, time to write! :-D (P.S. I'll post a random picture here very soon. Something funny or me with my cat. Or a sunset, because we've been getting some beautiful ones lately. ...How about all three! You deserve it.)
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68,165 words. Not in G4:O. I had to go back and read the two last chapters of G3:DF, so I couldn't help but fix some grammatical errors and edit some sentences so that they'd make better sense. That book is so long, I had to divide it into 6 separate documents so that I didn't have to wait forever for one file to load to write. So, the last, sixth file, is the one that has 68,165 words in it. I'm just putting it here to remind myself to add it to the G3:DF writing log.
Why did I have to go back and read the last two chapters of G3:DF, you ask? Well, three reasons: When I initially began G4:O, I didn't know how to begin it, so I summarized it. I knew the most important events, but I just couldn't grasp the feel of the book. Maybe it's because I was excited because I knew when the most exciting events would happen. Yes, that must be it. When I was a kid, I was an impatient reader. I wanted to know what would happen next. I couldn't wait. But it was worse with the ending: I'd flip to the end and read the last one or two paragraphs. Of course, nothing would make sense, but at least I felt calm somehow enough to continue reading the book from where I left off. Perhaps the worst thing was me being so anxious, I'd flip ahead and see if a character is still mentioned. And by that I mean if they were still alive in the chapters or near the end. Terrible, worst thing to do to yourself. If you're an impatient reader, don't do it. Just don't. They don't call them spoilers for nothing. I think I wrecked two books for me like that. Finding out that a character dies prematurely is perhaps more devastating than actually reading their brutal, sad scenes. You end up not wanting to read the book anymore.
Anyway, the second reason is because I had to know where my characters left off in the very beginning. I don't want to say more regarding it, as it would instantly give you too big of hints. I just needed more information so that I could continue off where I just had to stop from.
The third reason is merely because it's been driving me nuts. Every time I open up my G4:O document to write, I see hints in the beginning of it that condense several chapters into a mere 1 - 3 sentences. And each of these hints are color coded, which organizes them as each an important event, a sub-climax of the story, if you will. Think of a story as having a graph with peaks-- ...Okay, I remembered something in school about this, but I couldn't remember how it was explained. I had to look it up so I could stop feeling like a dummy. This should say it all. And they're called rising actions, not sub-climaxes.
Okay, now I really need to stop right here. It's 2:06 AM. Good night! (And good day!)
Oh! And I almost forgot! I wrote in G4:O, too!
5,309 words in separate document
10:30 PM? I lost track of what time I stopped because I was trying to multitask.
June 26th
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I was just going to go sit and write, but then my brother called. 5 minutes till midnight. Ugh. I hate ending my day like this. Drama, things going wrong, angry and upset people. I bet if his head were cut off above his vocal chords, he'd be expelling more hot air than he'd be gushing blood. ...Sorry, bad mental image. I blame all those weird anti-smoking commercials of the cold turkey talking through its neck. *shudders* It's been several years since I've watched much cable television, so I don't know if those commercials are still around, but I hope not. It really scared me the first time I watched them, and the thought of them still disturbs me and makes me wonder how a turkey would sound without a head. Um... anyway! O_o
My mom tends to talk loudly and scold him every time he calls. There's always something he's mad about. "I'm gonna' go throw that guy's stuff outside and break it!" Retaliation will get you nowhere, diaperhead. He has a roommate in his adult disability home who has worse mental problems than he does, so the two yell at each other like small children. Not your typical family drama, but it would be funny if it weren't my brother and instead a cartoon. But without all the profanity. Actually, replace bad words with funny, random words and sounds. "You honkety-honkety-honk!" "Your mother is a toilet brush!" Classic, nonsensical, unpredictable comedy. I love that stuff.
Anyway, I had to wait 15 minutes for that silly phone call to end, then I finally sat down to write (Actually, I was already sitting down, playing Pokemon FireRed on my Nintendo DS. With my headphones on to drown my mom out.). I just got done at 2:25 AM. This chapter I just couldn't stop in the middle of. It required some outer space research, some hard thinking, then writing of some fast-paced stuff happening. Whew. Now for some sleep.
6,015 words in separate document
2:25 AM
June 28th
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I was starting to have difficulty keeping my eyes open and my head upright, when my cat, Sweetie, must have sensed this or noticed it and jumped down from the chair she was lying on. She rushed over to me with her small, raspy voice snapping at me, "En! En! En!" (By the way, she's getting better at saying my sister's name, Sarah: "Air-eh! Air-eh!" Of course, cats can't make a perfect "S" sound, so she doesn't even try.) She jumped into my lap, pawing at my mouth and chin, purring like crazy, walking all over me, and trying to bite my nose (I tossed my head back and forth, expecting as much. She succeeded once during this struggle.) When I leaned back, because she was crawling all over my chest and getting her furry side in my face, she kept saying, "Oh-ooh-eh? Oh-ooh-eh?" Every once in a while she'll say "Oh-ooh-beh," but not this time. She wants me to go to bed now, without questions. I told her "Wait. Wait.", so now she's coming and going. Reminding me. ...Okay. Now she threw up a few times. She tends to do this late at night when I ignore her. Oh, hello. Now she's in my lap. ...Just to walk across the table to sit in her chair again. Anyway, these are the only times she throws up: When it's late at night and she wants to go to bed, when she has a hairball, and when she is sick. I never knew cats could throw up for reason #1, but I remember many times when I was little when I'd be so tired, I'd feel sick to the stomach. I still get that way when I'm severely sleep-deprived.
It most recently happened on Monday morning, actually. My mom didn't have her day organized on Sunday, so she ended up doing everything last-minute until she finally took a shower a little past midnight. Since our hot water has to gain back, I had to wait to take mine. Needless to say, I couldn't work on Monday. 3 1/2 hours of sleep is not good for anyone. My eyes were so puffy, I struggled to keep my eyes open. And I had that queasiness that I just described. (She has a plan to take hers on Sunday mornings, now. But since she has the memory superpower that rivals that of a fish's, it won't take her long to forget again. If it does, I'll have to resort to doing it on another day/time. I had such a convenient, well-timed schedule pattern for myself, too. I don't like having to disrupt that just because a dunce keeps jumping off her stool and disrupting my class. ...Metaphorically speaking, of course.
Okay, time to give this little one her reward for being so patient. *looks over at Sweetie, who looks over at me with sleepy eyes* I feel so horrible when I make her wait. I feel miserable in my own skin, anyway. ...Sorry. I'm sensitive to others' misery, inconvenience, and scolding. I'm just an over-feeling individual who grew up feeling sorry for inanimate objects when she was a kid. (When things broke, I'd wince and feel their "pain". Please tell me I'm not the only one who was this weird as a kid. Actually, I'm still a little like that. Only, it's mainly evolved into me being sensitive to people unnecessarily slamming doors loudly. Loud sounds hurt my ears + I'm afraid of things breaking and people getting hurt. Bad daydreams.)
6,381 words in separate document
2:32? AM (I forgot. Oops! Close enough.)
June 29th
What am I talking about, you ask? Birthdays. It might have not been a great idea to carry out old, dusty, moldy furniture out of my bedroom and organize everything into plastic containers, but I really wanted to do it before the birthday parties just in case anybody poked their heads in the bedroom and saw the pile of clothes and junk everywhere.
I don't like being judged for my messes, as you can tell. I like having a clean, organized home when I have people over, even when they're not my own guests. If I live under a roof, I'm fully capable of helping my family clean things up. Unfortunately, my family doesn't have as much of the same preference that I do. They throw their junk and shoes anywhere they like when they feel tired or lazy, which is basically all the time. What drives me crazy the most is when they make high traffic areas an obstacle course, most commonly with their shoes.
Personally, I don't enjoy watching other people get hurt. I watched enough of that when I was little. And I don't like feeling that rush of adrenaline, sudden anxiety, and fear of being unable to get my footing and that I'm about to fall down. I'm not accident-prone, nor do I have a knack for falling down, but I do remember what it's like to live with both problems (I was a clumsy kid and later learned to avoid bumps, bruises, and scrapes by being too slow. Once puberty hit, I got clumsy again and often bruised my then-wider hips, so I had to re-learn my old method.).
So, I've grown into a hyper-self-aware, alert, and perhaps over-careful, individual. Since I don't like disasters (and watching disaster movies, a.k.a. horrible-things-happening-and-everything-going-wrong-throughout-the-movie "comedies"), I sometimes can't stand it anymore and get frustrated when I accidentally kick or trip on something. But I do nothing more than "Agh!" and "Argh!" like a human-wookie crossbreed, shove things over to the side, and growl a sentence or two of my extremely-wanted request to "Can we please just...!" and "That way, nobody has to trip and smash their face on anything!"
I don't like being angry. It's not a good feeling, and it definitely doesn't feel good. Many people like the feeling because it gives them a [false] sense of power, simply because they see others cower down, give them fearful looks, and obey them. But it always feels empty in the end, like it was stupid to throw a fit in the first place. Some people are blind to that realization, however. They simply think and act by the motion of emotion. It's basically like stimming when you have autism, which is what my brother has.
For example, when he doesn't want to do something, like following the rules: His simpleminded thoughts are, when asked to turn down his headphones in a public place: "I WANT to listen to my music on my headphones!" His feelings: Stubbornness; "I want what I want"; "I don't WANT to give it up!"; "But I'm having too much fun, and I refuse to give it up!"; "I just started, so I'm not going to listen to you." (regardless of the actual time duration, even long periods of time feel like a few minutes. It's kind of like sleep, where they lose touch with reality and when they block things out due to stress.); and "I feel too comfortable to leave my comfort zone."
I have a character that basically represents anger. Mind you, it's very different from that new Disney/Pixar movie, um.... What's it called again? (I haven't watched it, yet, but I know as a matter of fact that he's not like my character.) *looks it up* Inside Out. Anyway, the character is nothing near like him. And yes, I'll be watching it soon. I bought the DVD for my sister's birthday. She'll want me to watch it with her just as much as how one of my best friends wants me to watch it.
Does this mean that I have other characters that represent emotions? ...More or less. Yes and no. Maybe and sort of. It's a long story to explain how my story world works. It would probably take me about 30 minutes up to an hour to go over just enough to explain that one single thing, just to answer that question.
4,011 words total (separate document)
1:30 AM
June 15th
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Well, my sister caught a 24-hour flu bug this morning. Just a bad headache, nausea, and little upchucking this morning. I wasn't sure whether it was the chicken teriyaki I got her yesterday, but I didn't want to risk going to work today because:
1. She can't really take care of herself or know what to do because of her autism. For instance, I had to give her water because she was dry heaving.
2. Since I ate a ton of sushi and chicken yakisoba from the same restaurant, I didn't want to risk hurling all over books, toys, and people. (Yes, there are toys in libraries. You didn't know that? Pick yourself up and go to your nearest public library, unless you live many miles away from it. Also, many people still think that librarians are cranky old ladies whose only form of communication is shushing. Another thing that many people still think is that libraries are boring and full of books. Good grief. It's the 21st century! Libraries also have DVDs, Blu-rays, CDs, free internet access on computers, WiFi, laptops, iPads, and fun events going on each month. The toys are in the play areas and a bunch of other ones are played with during Storytime. If I've mentioned this before and I don't remember, it's probably because I tend to write in this blog when it's late at night. My apologies. I have no clue how many people are actually reading my blog. Whenever I look at the Google Analytics (a feature that shows me how many people in each country and at each approximate time that people look at my blog and blog posts), I just figure that most people take at glance at this blog and move on. I mainly write in here as a sort of diary and writing log, only thinking that at least one person I know in real life is reading it. I don't feel bad if nobody is actually reading it. Personally, it reminds me of looking through a calendar at the end of the year, or looking through an old calendar from several years ago: You see what exciting things you did on certain days. I guess not all people do this [and, in fact, I admit to not doing this as much as I used to], but I once wrote the details of what happened each day at the end of each day noteworthy. For example, if I went to Wild Waves and Enchanted Village [a theme park I used to go to often with my aunt], I'd mention things like: "I got a big ice cream cone!" or [At Fright Fest near Halloween, same theme park] "I wore my Scream mask and people liked it!" Some days were bad days and I'd write, "I fell down and sprained my ankle. :'( " Eventually, I didn't write anything on bad days, especially when my aunt would verbally and mentally abuse me. Instead, I'd cross out the day not with a straight X, but with a wavy X, as though it were a drawing of tears running down a person's face. Anyway, at the end of the first year of treating my calendar as a sort of diary, I realized how fun and interesting keeping track of my life really was. This blog is a form of that, with me writing down significant events each day [Well, almost. But I recently decided to change that, as you know.], like a diary. Anyway, back to this list. Lol. I get so sidetracked when writing letters and blogging. Don't worry. I don't write my books like this. I'm more strict on myself with my books. I just ramble, don't judge myself, and feel free and comfortable when I write letters and blog posts.)
3. I forgot the third reason. (If you forgot what the heck I was talking about in this list, scroll up a little to check. I just now had to do that, too. Me = Ramblehead!) Ah, yes. Now I remember. I had 3 hours of sleep last night because I was having too much anxiety and restlessness to get off the computer (I tend to go back and forth between Facebook [I only Friend family and friends I've met and known for a while in real life, save for a rare few people who are the only exceptions.] and Twitter [I'm @Jennifer_Fulk] a gazillion times.). I finally got off the computer late at night, took a shower, and went to bed at past 3 AM. I would have gone to work anyway if it wasn't for my sister getting sick, though, which taking care of her is my top priority and reason when she gets sick. I've gone to work before on 4 hours of sleep. Although I wouldn't recommend it for anyone, half the time this happens, I tend to be wide awake and functional throughout the day until I get home. Maybe I run on adrenaline on those days.... Then again, I run on adrenaline all the time anyway because I prefer to not have to lean on a cane at this age (a.k.a. I refuse to have to depend on caffeine. It's healthier, I'm not getting addicted to anything, and I'm not wrecking my body from the inside). Yeah, it's not healthy to get 4 - 6 hours of sleep each night, but I'm working on a plan to fix that by sheer will. Perfect, structured routines are my worst enemy, thanks to my aunt (Mind you, I have 4 aunts, but that one is remembered by all of the family to be the meanest. Yeah, she was horrible as a kid, too. The type that makes even the parents afraid [and lenient! Worst parenting idea - ever!], which is kind of what created her in the first place.). But I don't use that as an excuse for my self-destructive behavior. It was only last week that I finally figured out what is wrong with me: The procrastination and "fear" of doing anything is the result of the constant rush and anxiety I went through daily. Knowing the need to hurry, but having flashbacks of having to rush to bed and the intense anxiety and fear associated with it, I end up putting it off by doing things that take my mind off of it. But where's the stopping point? There is none. It's a vicious cycle. The only way that I can feel comfortable going to bed is letting myself burn out: When I'm very tired and I'm starting to fall asleep. Unfortunately, that isn't the greatest choice when you have to take a shower as well, especially when you have work in the morning. Instead of saying, "I'm screwed for life", I'm going to try to help myself the best I can. I can go through rounds of therapy with some therapist, but therapists don't make much money, and just about anybody can be hired to be one, regardless if you have training or special degrees or not. In the end, it's all depending on me anyway, so I might as well treat myself. It isn't a serious mental condition, I've just got to look inside myself and break a bad habit by fixing my "running-out-of-time-just-before-the-end-of-the-world" panic and anxiety.
Oh, yeah. And my sister is feeling better now. There's a weird, short-lived flu bug going around. A lot of people at my mom's work have been getting it, a friend who lives nearby got on the same day as my sister, and my little cousin caught a similar one about 70 miles away at the same time, too. I think it's the weather. We've been getting a pattern of cool and warm, cool and warm weather lately. A few days ago, it was cold. Like, in the lower 50s kind of cold. Then it got warm in the upper 60s again. I think that day was to blame for all the people getting it today.
Something unrelated: If you have access to YouTube, I recommend subscribing to the channel, "50 ducks in a hot tub". Matt, his ducks, and his dog, Dug, are like one big, funny family. You'll know what I mean when you watch several videos. Recently, Matt got a tear in an unfortunate place, so he's going through a lot of pain right now, but he recently got a huge hatch of the cutest, funniest ducklings you'll ever see. Whenever he goes in their barn, their God-sent therapy immediately takes the pain away. It makes me almost cry (and now the tears finally come. *reaches for tissue, because it always annoyingly drains through my nose*), seeing them rushing over to him, crowding around him, and nibbling on his shoes and legs (They're actually grooming him and treating him like he's their mommy or daddy.). He's never had a hatch that behaved like this. He recently decided to lay down among them to see what would happen, and the result was adorable beyond reason.
Oh, and I forgot to mention: I stayed awake and was on the computer for a bit this morning before I ate a bowl of cereal. My sister was doing better the whole time I was doing those things (an hour or two?), so I decided to go back to bed. I was too tired to go immediately to the store to get her 7Up. I decided to set my cell phone alarms so that I'd get a few more hours of sleep. After all, her loud dry heaves woke me up an hour before I was supposed to wake up. So I had 3 hours of sleep instead of 4. I figured that added 3 more hours would give me 6 hours of sleep total to get by. However, when my alarms went off, I shut them all off while I was half-asleep, deciding that I would sleep for 5 more minutes and wake up on my own (Of course, that never works for most people. It only works for me every once in a while, but not when I'm extremely tired.). Well, let me tell you, I've been feeling utterly exhausted since last Friday. I had to move a load of clothes and belongings into containers, as well as a couple of large bits of furniture in and out of my room that day. The next day, I had to finish up with that project, as well as vacuum, decorate, and otherwise preparing for my sister's birthday party. By the next day, on my birthday, I was utterly spent. But I still had tons of stuff to do. Monday, that next day, I have little memory of. I wasn't too busy, but I guess I was tired enough not to remember how tired I was. Tuesday was terrible. My eyes were heavy and kept going out of focus, and I felt like I was going to fall asleep any minute, all day. Thankfully, I wasn't rushing around. I sat most of the time at work cleaning stuff. On Wednesday, I was unusually wide awake and clear-thinking, but I remember I had 5 hours of sleep, one hour less than the night before. I guess I was running on adrenaline that day. Then... Thursday, today. ...Er, well. Yesterday, that is. It's 2:50 AM, so it's technically Friday right now. Whatever.
My poor cat is yelling at me with raspy-voiced barks: "Eh!!" "Ow!!" "En!!" She wants me to go to bed, but I want to write. She doesn't realize I don't have to get up early in the morning.
Agh! I keep wanting to tell you, but I keep on rambling and getting sidetracked! Here, I'll just say it: I slept for 10 hours! That was 3 hours last night, and, when I went back to bed, I accidentally slept for 7 hours (until 4:30-ish PM. My mom coming home and talking with my sister in the living room woke me up). When I woke up, I was a little afraid that it may be because I was going to be sick soon, too, but then I remembered that it was simply because I had been exhausted. I felt more refreshed, more than I have felt in a while, so it all worked out in the end.
Anyway, it's 3:00 AM. Time to write for a little bit, then I need to go to bed. (But I'm pretty tired, now. I'll decide what to do once I start reading a little bit before where I left off. If I know what to write and my imagination is functioning well, I'll know.) ...No. You know what? I think I'll go to bed. I need to have a time limit, even on weekends. 3 AM, no later. Closing my eyes right now, I know I am too tired. Good night. (I need to start listening to my cat more.... Lol.)
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3:48 AM (Oops. But it's the weekend. Then again, I overworked my body today. I'll be feeling it tomorrow. And sleep in. At least I feel like I wrote enough, though. I haven't gone far very much these past past several months.)
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June 18th
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3:07 AM
4,564 words total in separate document
June 19th
Not much to say. My sister wanted me to watch Zootopia with her and Mom at dinnertime (Dinner was late), then we watched 50 Ducks in a Hot Tub videos late into the night. Oh, and yes. I was sore all day today. I didn't have that much of an appetite, though. My metabolism goes way low on weekends, when I'm not doing anything. I end up eating a bowl of cereal for breakfast, snacks throughout the day, and any-sized dinner. That's about it. Anyways, I am falling asleep as I am typing this, so I bid you a good night.
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Unknown time. Likely around 7:30 PM.
5,267 words total in separate document
June 25th
Whew! I'm getting closer to where this part of the story will join the main part. What do I mean and how did this happen? Well, I've heard of some writers doing this, and I'm no exception (In fact, I've always been like this! It's rather annoying.): When I start writing a story, I don't know how exactly to begin. I don't know what the first sentence will be, and I don't know what the first few chapters will be like. I have the feel (The mood of the story? It's hard to describe "the feel", putting it in words, but I hope you can understand. It's what writers seek when they sit down in front of the story they're writing. It's kind of like trying to remember how an orchestrated song goes in a movie in a battle scene. It ain't easy to grasp the movement, the flurry, and the excitement, and forcing your own emotions to feel fear as though you're running around fighting an invisible enemy when you're sitting in a chair. I guess another way to describe it is when you have to stop a Star Wars movie in the middle of it, and, the next day, trying to remember what just happened and how you felt during the seconds before where you left off.), ...You know what? I just rambled after four words in a sentence. Redo! (I hate it when I do that.) I have the feel and I know the most important things that will happen, but the imagination runs dry, so I "make a summary" of these most important events so that I can think over them and daydream a little. Fortunately and unfortunately, I get inspired after several sentences or paragraphs. Once I've started, I'm unstoppable. It's a powerful thrill, as though I were reading a good, fast-paced book. The only difference? I'm not flipping pages like crazy, I'm typing like crazy. I want to know what happens next just as much as a reader.
Soooo, anyway. (I'm getting off-topic and disorganized because I'm falling asleep at the computer again [Yeah. it's 3:29 AM, June 26th.].) That's why and what I'm doing. 39 words turned into 5,267 words so far. *I'll continue this tomorrow. I honestly can't stay awake any longer.
...I'm back. 2:07 PM, June 26th! That purple section above is what I added in just now. I'm in a writing mood, so I rambled. Oops. But I felt the need to explain what I meant by "the feel". Oftentimes people don't understand what I'm saying, other times they're too afraid of asking and looking stupid, so they dismiss it that I'm stupid and ignore me, pretending that I'm invisible. Maybe it's just that I often feel invisible because people don't talk to me much in real life. But I don't blame them. I'm horrible at talking. I stumble over words a lot, I stutter a little, I process thoughts slower than the average person, and when I don't talk fast and stumble over my words, I talk slowly. Autism sucks. And people make assumptions, they think I'm done talking because I also pause in between 1 - 5? words, I get interrupted, etc., etc. I get frustrated with myself when I pause and have something to add to what I say, and then other people talk and change the subject just when I open my mouth again. Do I have to keep my mouth open, or something? Then again, they look away anyway. It's probably not me. Chatty people constantly talk because it feels good on their jaws or something. Maybe they just like competition, and they're not used to being around slow-thinkers. Chatty people do hang with chatty people. That makes sense. They're adapted to thinking fast so they can can jump in and say whatever they want when they want. But I don't like interrupting people because I know how it feels to be interrupted. It's even more awful for me because when I'm interrupted, I instantly forget what I was just saying and what I was about to say. This is why I give up talking altogether. I'm not very talkative, but when I am, it's when people want to talk to me. I like people who are happy to invite others to their conversations. And asking questions. I'm great with answering them. Advice, too. Figuring out how to do something or getting around obstacles? I love doing that. Using odd objects for tools rather than traditional ones? That's often the right way to do them. It's hard for many people to think outside the box, because they're used to a systematic way of doing things (e.g. "following the crowd"). I used to be stupid and couldn't figure out anything, so don't think I'm some genius or something. We all can learn new ways of doing things if we just look around us and think more independently. And being more careful. Slow and easy wins the race.
...But enough about that. I've probably mentioned the same things several times already. I'm too lazy to go back and look, but at least you can learn a little more about me when I put things in different words. And hey, you could be autistic, too. Maybe you didn't understand something I said before, and are understanding it better since I put it a different way this time? The variety in the things that happen in life are endless. Anything can happen, anytime, anywhere, at just the right time, for many reasons we often can not see.
^And, no. I don't feel like fixing that ridiculously long "paragraph" right now. I'd rather write [in my story] so I can get closer to the day that I can publish it and bring it to you! The long wait is so worth it! (P.S. I'm horrible at writing letters. This blog comes somewhere between writing a letter and story writing. Half-good, half-bad. When I'm writing my stories, it just comes out so naturally. Grammar, spelling, organization, etc. I think it's because I am passionate and love my stories. Everything else? I let myself be lazy. Kind of like the way I talk, only faster-thinking due to lack of anxiety, and a lot more relaxed. I honestly don't know how many of you read my blog, but I'm okay with it. I feel like I'm talking to a person who happens to be a *very* good listener. Thank you for not interrupting me! Hahaha!
Okay, time to write! :-D (P.S. I'll post a random picture here very soon. Something funny or me with my cat. Or a sunset, because we've been getting some beautiful ones lately. ...How about all three! You deserve it.)
___
68,165 words. Not in G4:O. I had to go back and read the two last chapters of G3:DF, so I couldn't help but fix some grammatical errors and edit some sentences so that they'd make better sense. That book is so long, I had to divide it into 6 separate documents so that I didn't have to wait forever for one file to load to write. So, the last, sixth file, is the one that has 68,165 words in it. I'm just putting it here to remind myself to add it to the G3:DF writing log.
Why did I have to go back and read the last two chapters of G3:DF, you ask? Well, three reasons: When I initially began G4:O, I didn't know how to begin it, so I summarized it. I knew the most important events, but I just couldn't grasp the feel of the book. Maybe it's because I was excited because I knew when the most exciting events would happen. Yes, that must be it. When I was a kid, I was an impatient reader. I wanted to know what would happen next. I couldn't wait. But it was worse with the ending: I'd flip to the end and read the last one or two paragraphs. Of course, nothing would make sense, but at least I felt calm somehow enough to continue reading the book from where I left off. Perhaps the worst thing was me being so anxious, I'd flip ahead and see if a character is still mentioned. And by that I mean if they were still alive in the chapters or near the end. Terrible, worst thing to do to yourself. If you're an impatient reader, don't do it. Just don't. They don't call them spoilers for nothing. I think I wrecked two books for me like that. Finding out that a character dies prematurely is perhaps more devastating than actually reading their brutal, sad scenes. You end up not wanting to read the book anymore.
Anyway, the second reason is because I had to know where my characters left off in the very beginning. I don't want to say more regarding it, as it would instantly give you too big of hints. I just needed more information so that I could continue off where I just had to stop from.
The third reason is merely because it's been driving me nuts. Every time I open up my G4:O document to write, I see hints in the beginning of it that condense several chapters into a mere 1 - 3 sentences. And each of these hints are color coded, which organizes them as each an important event, a sub-climax of the story, if you will. Think of a story as having a graph with peaks-- ...Okay, I remembered something in school about this, but I couldn't remember how it was explained. I had to look it up so I could stop feeling like a dummy. This should say it all. And they're called rising actions, not sub-climaxes.
Anyway, I had the 1 - 3 sentences color-coded so I could organize them as rising actions. Staring at the colors have been annoying me every time I wait for the G4:O file to load, and yes, it's getting close to time that I create a second file to reduce the wait. Almost. I've just got to tackle getting the very beginning written. It shouldn't take long. As long as I get more sleep and don't get so irritable and easily-distracted when my mom and sister get talkative and noisy, I might be able to do it within the week. Chances are, though, I'll have trouble concentrating on and off and will take about 2 weeks to write it. But you never know. Last week, I had a lot of trouble concentrating because I had 4 - 5 hours of sleep each night. This week I'll try to do better and be more strict with myself.
Today has gone by quite fast. It's already 1:21 AM, so I've got to take a quick shower and smash my face into my pillow. Haha, don't worry. I'm gentle to my pillow. It's made of glass.
Just kidding. It's not make of glass, but I once wondered when I was young what it'd be like to have insulation as a pillow. That wouldn't be so great, having tiny splinters of glass embedded in your head. Sorry, don't think of that. It'd be worse if a kid tried to eat it like cotton candy. I more often thought it looked like cotton candy. My mom always used a scared voice to warn me not to touch it. *gasps* "Don't touch it!!" Traumatizing woman. Enough to give anybody anxiety problems. But I don't have them just because of her. You can't possibly imagine what I've been through. Things so bad, you embrace nightmares as good dreams. Well, no. Actually, my nightmares as a kid were terrible. Many of them would be long-recurring for many years. I don't want to describe the several I still remember, but I'll say this much: They were horrible.
Nowadays, I remember very few dreams. I didn't say I don't have any, because we all dream several times during our sleep cycle. The other day or yesterday, I had one that was slightly unpleasant, but it didn't last long because I woke up to greet the morning. About 4 or 5 days ago, I had a nightmare of being chased into my grandma's house by realistic, life-sized velociraptors. I had to hide a 7, 8, or 9 year old half brain-dead girl in her white nightgown in the bottom of a weird freezer. I tried to fit myself in, but I was an adult man, so I had to stand around and wait to meet my fate. There was no point in running anymore, so I was ready to face him/her. I knew there was a raptor creeping in from the side of the tiny half living room, but my eye was on the one down the hallway. She walked slowly into view, her large reptilian face looking sideways at me. I was ready to be killed that this one, staring intently into her eye.
That's when I woke up. I wanted the dream to properly end! Like a story! I *wanted* to be killed by the dinosaur! It's so silly. I was disappointed when I woke up. I was feleing like, "Have at me! I'm not afraid of you! Even if you kill me, I will not be afraid of you!" But I guess I unconsciously made myself wake up because I didn't want to jump out of my sleep. I've had too many dreams like that enough to know when I'm going to jump. Most of them I jump. It's very startling and it takes a lot of energy out of me. I almost feel like screaming away the fear.
And yes, I've sometimes had dreams of being a boy or a man. I think that's why it's been so easy to get into the minds of my male characters. It's quite useful. And fun. One of my favorites as a kid was of one recurring [only twice, though!] being a "jungle boy" in a very green tropical rainforest, and having the ability to leap and glide in the air over lush valleys and from tree to tree. What a breathtaking adventure! The flying sensation was such a thrill. I'll never be able to go zip gliding due to my panic attacks, but that dream was enough for me to feel satisfied. Breathtaking beauty everywhere. Oh, and the dream looked very much like this, just without the guy zip gliding (but imagine gliding through that!):
Okay, now I really need to stop right here. It's 2:06 AM. Good night! (And good day!)
Oh! And I almost forgot! I wrote in G4:O, too!
5,309 words in separate document
10:30 PM? I lost track of what time I stopped because I was trying to multitask.
June 26th
____
I was just going to go sit and write, but then my brother called. 5 minutes till midnight. Ugh. I hate ending my day like this. Drama, things going wrong, angry and upset people. I bet if his head were cut off above his vocal chords, he'd be expelling more hot air than he'd be gushing blood. ...Sorry, bad mental image. I blame all those weird anti-smoking commercials of the cold turkey talking through its neck. *shudders* It's been several years since I've watched much cable television, so I don't know if those commercials are still around, but I hope not. It really scared me the first time I watched them, and the thought of them still disturbs me and makes me wonder how a turkey would sound without a head. Um... anyway! O_o
My mom tends to talk loudly and scold him every time he calls. There's always something he's mad about. "I'm gonna' go throw that guy's stuff outside and break it!" Retaliation will get you nowhere, diaperhead. He has a roommate in his adult disability home who has worse mental problems than he does, so the two yell at each other like small children. Not your typical family drama, but it would be funny if it weren't my brother and instead a cartoon. But without all the profanity. Actually, replace bad words with funny, random words and sounds. "You honkety-honkety-honk!" "Your mother is a toilet brush!" Classic, nonsensical, unpredictable comedy. I love that stuff.
Anyway, I had to wait 15 minutes for that silly phone call to end, then I finally sat down to write (Actually, I was already sitting down, playing Pokemon FireRed on my Nintendo DS. With my headphones on to drown my mom out.). I just got done at 2:25 AM. This chapter I just couldn't stop in the middle of. It required some outer space research, some hard thinking, then writing of some fast-paced stuff happening. Whew. Now for some sleep.
6,015 words in separate document
2:25 AM
June 28th
____
I was starting to have difficulty keeping my eyes open and my head upright, when my cat, Sweetie, must have sensed this or noticed it and jumped down from the chair she was lying on. She rushed over to me with her small, raspy voice snapping at me, "En! En! En!" (By the way, she's getting better at saying my sister's name, Sarah: "Air-eh! Air-eh!" Of course, cats can't make a perfect "S" sound, so she doesn't even try.) She jumped into my lap, pawing at my mouth and chin, purring like crazy, walking all over me, and trying to bite my nose (I tossed my head back and forth, expecting as much. She succeeded once during this struggle.) When I leaned back, because she was crawling all over my chest and getting her furry side in my face, she kept saying, "Oh-ooh-eh? Oh-ooh-eh?" Every once in a while she'll say "Oh-ooh-beh," but not this time. She wants me to go to bed now, without questions. I told her "Wait. Wait.", so now she's coming and going. Reminding me. ...Okay. Now she threw up a few times. She tends to do this late at night when I ignore her. Oh, hello. Now she's in my lap. ...Just to walk across the table to sit in her chair again. Anyway, these are the only times she throws up: When it's late at night and she wants to go to bed, when she has a hairball, and when she is sick. I never knew cats could throw up for reason #1, but I remember many times when I was little when I'd be so tired, I'd feel sick to the stomach. I still get that way when I'm severely sleep-deprived.
It most recently happened on Monday morning, actually. My mom didn't have her day organized on Sunday, so she ended up doing everything last-minute until she finally took a shower a little past midnight. Since our hot water has to gain back, I had to wait to take mine. Needless to say, I couldn't work on Monday. 3 1/2 hours of sleep is not good for anyone. My eyes were so puffy, I struggled to keep my eyes open. And I had that queasiness that I just described. (She has a plan to take hers on Sunday mornings, now. But since she has the memory superpower that rivals that of a fish's, it won't take her long to forget again. If it does, I'll have to resort to doing it on another day/time. I had such a convenient, well-timed schedule pattern for myself, too. I don't like having to disrupt that just because a dunce keeps jumping off her stool and disrupting my class. ...Metaphorically speaking, of course.
Okay, time to give this little one her reward for being so patient. *looks over at Sweetie, who looks over at me with sleepy eyes* I feel so horrible when I make her wait. I feel miserable in my own skin, anyway. ...Sorry. I'm sensitive to others' misery, inconvenience, and scolding. I'm just an over-feeling individual who grew up feeling sorry for inanimate objects when she was a kid. (When things broke, I'd wince and feel their "pain". Please tell me I'm not the only one who was this weird as a kid. Actually, I'm still a little like that. Only, it's mainly evolved into me being sensitive to people unnecessarily slamming doors loudly. Loud sounds hurt my ears + I'm afraid of things breaking and people getting hurt. Bad daydreams.)
6,381 words in separate document
2:32? AM (I forgot. Oops! Close enough.)
June 29th
Thursday, April 9, 2015
April 2015
*April 9: At this moment, I don't feel like typing up a bunch of stuff here, yet. I just want to delete this from my writing file (I put my April 6th logging into the file where I am writing the book) where I left off:
April 6th
Stopped writing at: 3:18 AM
Words written: 1,128
Total words so far: 78,872
Day: 50
Ahh. Now I can go write. And eat marshmallow circus peanuts. At 1:41 in the morning. And listen to my mom snore softly nearby. And now I'm going to shut up.
... *writes* ...
___
...WHOAH. Long day. Got super sleepy sooner than usual. This is super weird, but as I was writing a scene just now, I started to fall asleep. I was even dreaming random gibberish. But I wanted to finish that part at least, so I kept on typing.
Well, it ends up that you can actually "sleep-type", much like sleep-walking.
I seriously have no clue what this means, but it's totally not what I meant to type. Far from it:
___
The only reason why I can't go much further right now is because my cat came out of nowhere just now and is letting me know that it's time for bed. Literally, I'm lying here in bed with my computer propped on my knees, and my little seven-pound cat is on my chest. It's really hard to write this right now with my neck craned over her back and my other hand as her pillow. I bid thee good night and good morning.
___
Yowza! Huge writing storm! I just wrote for 13 hours straight! (Except for brief breaks of taking bites of food, gulps of water, being distracted by my noisy mom and sister, and using the toilet.) I couldn't stop writing. It was just too exciting. Having finished the complicated battle that takes place in this book, I zipped through like crazy. The battle wasn't very thought through 8 years ago when I came up with the book, but a good portion of the rest, I remember extremely well, so that's why it was so fast.
Hmm.... *calculates numbers* ...WHAT?????? 6,698 words in 13 hours. Wowee.
Okay, I'm tired. And - whoops - I have to get up in 3 hours and 45 minutes for work. Oh, dear. Remind me not to write on a Sunday night again. XP
(Update: I survived work surprisingly well. After getting home, however.... ZZZZ....)
___
April 14
Stopped writing at: 12:43 AM
Words written: 263
Total words so far: 86,845
Day: 54
I'm falling asleep while writing. Can't go on. I regret not taking a nap after work today. *dozes off right now, jerks head up* My cat sleeping on my lap is not helping, either. I bid thee a good sleep. ZZZZ
___
April 25
Stopped writing at: 2:03 AM
Words written: 2,256
Total words so far: 89,101
Day: 55
Coincidentally, I'm falling asleep while writing again. My hands are weak and deciding to take their own naps (inspiring something in my book, as a result of this being a common symptom of writing late into the night), my eyes are taking brief naps, my head feels heavy on my neck (like a bowling ball on a bendy-necked straw), and Sweetie is sleeping on my lap again. ...I just dozed off again while typing this. Don't wake up the moon with your snoring! (P.S. I don't snore, but Sweetie often does.) Nooo.... I don't want to wake her! She's having a dream. Akk! She's poking me with her claws! ...Okay, I need to go to bed. I can't stay awake any longer. Thankfully, she understands (and is delighted by) when I whisper, "Let's go to bed!" ...Okay, so she just woke from her dream just before I tried to wake her. Now she got up, turned over, and laid down again. Told her, but she just looked at me as if saying, "I don't feel like getting up." *pause* I just told her again, and she immediately got up, purred, looked up at my face, and squeakily yawned. Nighty-night!
___
April 26
Stopped writing at: 4:32 AM
Words written: 1,676
Total words so far: 90,777
Day: 56
Ah, whoops! Look at the time! I noticed how late it was about an hour ago (It really doesn't feel like it!), but I had to finish a series of really moving, great scenes. I haven't finished them, but Sweetie, losing her patience, got off my lap and crouched on the arm of the recliner I'm in and watched me write.
All of a sudden, she had enough just now and, the clearest I've ever heard her say it, asked, "Go to bed?" (Well, of course she couldn't enunciate the g, t, and the d, but she otherwise said it more like this: "Oh oo beh?").
I've been teaching her various words ("Hello" and "En" = "Jen" are her favorites), and although I didn't expect her to say it, I always whisper, "Okay, let's go to bed!" or ask her, "Go to bed?" when it's time to go to bed. She'll ask, "Beh?" And I'll say, "Yeah! Let's go to bed!" It's our common routine. It's adorable. There's not a night we don't do this.
Anyway, during the time that it took me to type this for you, Sweetie acted crazy by climbing around the back of the recliner like a monkey, and now she's crouched on the arm of the chair, waiting for me again.
One more thing, Sweetie! Here's a pic of us as of a few minutes ago. As you can see, she's not very happy about being told that we can go to bed, only to have to wait for yet another thing. I'm so sorry!
April 29
Stopped writing at: 1:11 AM
Words written: 884
Total words so far: 91,661
Day: 57
Sweetie is snoring on my lap right now. And I can't count how many times I've been falling asleep sitting here. Bedtime!
___
April 30
Stopped writing at: 1:42 AM
Words written: 480
Total words so far: 92,141
Day: 58
Ooh. I can't wait for it to reach its 100,000 mark. Getting closer....
Ooh. On another note, I can't wait to go to bed. Getting sleepy....
So much that I'm repeatedly falling asleep at the computer. I had to force myself up to 40% wakefulness in order to type this and be able to drag my feet to bed. I'm such a zombie. Urrrrgh.... ZZZZ *cartoon snorts awake sound effect inserted* That'd be really weird: Giving my book series a sudden twist with zombies in it. Zombie dragons in space? Nope! Let somebody else do it. Hey, that'd be some wild fan fiction or art! Ha ha ha! That'd be crazy. Somebody should seriously try it and post it on DeviantArt. Let me know if you do!
Update on Jan 22, 2016: I made a goof in February 2015's post, so I've corrected it there as well as in this post, which it also affected. ...Ha! I just noticed another goof in this post by itself, too. Go figure. I wrote all this AFTER I was done writing for the night, when I was at my least-functional and sleepiest.
April 6th
Stopped writing at: 3:18 AM
Words written: 1,128
Total words so far: 78,872
Day: 50
Ahh. Now I can go write. And eat marshmallow circus peanuts. At 1:41 in the morning. And listen to my mom snore softly nearby. And now I'm going to shut up.
... *writes* ...
___
...WHOAH. Long day. Got super sleepy sooner than usual. This is super weird, but as I was writing a scene just now, I started to fall asleep. I was even dreaming random gibberish. But I wanted to finish that part at least, so I kept on typing.
Well, it ends up that you can actually "sleep-type", much like sleep-walking.
I seriously have no clue what this means, but it's totally not what I meant to type. Far from it:
It took [character's name] several minutes to recompose your lunch.
They're on a battle field, and the guy is injured on the ground being dragged to safety by an ally, his burn injuries making him scream. The ally reassures him in a sort of way. What. The. Heck. "Your lunch" is the part that I didn't intend on typing. I recall sluggishly typing, head drooping, eyes barely open. I also recall the gibberish talking in my half-awake dream. I think a boy was talking in it, but I can't remember.
Okay, this is kinda' freaking me out. Time to go to bed.
April 9
Stopped writing at: 2:38 AM
Words written: 142
Total words so far: 79,014
Day: 51
___
April 12
Stopped writing at: 2:55 AM
Words written: 870
Total words so far: 79,884
Day: 52
Stopped writing at: 2:55 AM
Words written: 870
Total words so far: 79,884
Day: 52
The only reason why I can't go much further right now is because my cat came out of nowhere just now and is letting me know that it's time for bed. Literally, I'm lying here in bed with my computer propped on my knees, and my little seven-pound cat is on my chest. It's really hard to write this right now with my neck craned over her back and my other hand as her pillow. I bid thee good night and good morning.
___
Early 3:?? PM, April 12th into 4:04 AM, April 13th (13 hrs of writing)
Words written: 6,698
Words written: 6,698
Total words so far: 86,582
Day: [52] and 53
Day: [52] and 53
Hmm.... *calculates numbers* ...WHAT?????? 6,698 words in 13 hours. Wowee.
Okay, I'm tired. And - whoops - I have to get up in 3 hours and 45 minutes for work. Oh, dear. Remind me not to write on a Sunday night again. XP
(Update: I survived work surprisingly well. After getting home, however.... ZZZZ....)
___
April 14
Stopped writing at: 12:43 AM
Words written: 263
Total words so far: 86,845
Day: 54
I'm falling asleep while writing. Can't go on. I regret not taking a nap after work today. *dozes off right now, jerks head up* My cat sleeping on my lap is not helping, either. I bid thee a good sleep. ZZZZ
___
April 25
Stopped writing at: 2:03 AM
Words written: 2,256
Total words so far: 89,101
Day: 55
Coincidentally, I'm falling asleep while writing again. My hands are weak and deciding to take their own naps (inspiring something in my book, as a result of this being a common symptom of writing late into the night), my eyes are taking brief naps, my head feels heavy on my neck (like a bowling ball on a bendy-necked straw), and Sweetie is sleeping on my lap again. ...I just dozed off again while typing this. Don't wake up the moon with your snoring! (P.S. I don't snore, but Sweetie often does.) Nooo.... I don't want to wake her! She's having a dream. Akk! She's poking me with her claws! ...Okay, I need to go to bed. I can't stay awake any longer. Thankfully, she understands (and is delighted by) when I whisper, "Let's go to bed!" ...Okay, so she just woke from her dream just before I tried to wake her. Now she got up, turned over, and laid down again. Told her, but she just looked at me as if saying, "I don't feel like getting up." *pause* I just told her again, and she immediately got up, purred, looked up at my face, and squeakily yawned. Nighty-night!
___
April 26
Stopped writing at: 4:32 AM
Words written: 1,676
Total words so far: 90,777
Day: 56
Ah, whoops! Look at the time! I noticed how late it was about an hour ago (It really doesn't feel like it!), but I had to finish a series of really moving, great scenes. I haven't finished them, but Sweetie, losing her patience, got off my lap and crouched on the arm of the recliner I'm in and watched me write.
All of a sudden, she had enough just now and, the clearest I've ever heard her say it, asked, "Go to bed?" (Well, of course she couldn't enunciate the g, t, and the d, but she otherwise said it more like this: "Oh oo beh?").
I've been teaching her various words ("Hello" and "En" = "Jen" are her favorites), and although I didn't expect her to say it, I always whisper, "Okay, let's go to bed!" or ask her, "Go to bed?" when it's time to go to bed. She'll ask, "Beh?" And I'll say, "Yeah! Let's go to bed!" It's our common routine. It's adorable. There's not a night we don't do this.
Anyway, during the time that it took me to type this for you, Sweetie acted crazy by climbing around the back of the recliner like a monkey, and now she's crouched on the arm of the chair, waiting for me again.
One more thing, Sweetie! Here's a pic of us as of a few minutes ago. As you can see, she's not very happy about being told that we can go to bed, only to have to wait for yet another thing. I'm so sorry!
This picture is so horrible. The color is off. It looks like my lips are bleeding! XO And yes, I'm battling adult acne. It's horrible. One of my aunts had this same problem, too.
___April 29
Stopped writing at: 1:11 AM
Words written: 884
Total words so far: 91,661
Day: 57
Sweetie is snoring on my lap right now. And I can't count how many times I've been falling asleep sitting here. Bedtime!
___
April 30
Stopped writing at: 1:42 AM
Words written: 480
Total words so far: 92,141
Day: 58
Ooh. I can't wait for it to reach its 100,000 mark. Getting closer....
Ooh. On another note, I can't wait to go to bed. Getting sleepy....
So much that I'm repeatedly falling asleep at the computer. I had to force myself up to 40% wakefulness in order to type this and be able to drag my feet to bed. I'm such a zombie. Urrrrgh.... ZZZZ *cartoon snorts awake sound effect inserted* That'd be really weird: Giving my book series a sudden twist with zombies in it. Zombie dragons in space? Nope! Let somebody else do it. Hey, that'd be some wild fan fiction or art! Ha ha ha! That'd be crazy. Somebody should seriously try it and post it on DeviantArt. Let me know if you do!
Update on Jan 22, 2016: I made a goof in February 2015's post, so I've corrected it there as well as in this post, which it also affected. ...Ha! I just noticed another goof in this post by itself, too. Go figure. I wrote all this AFTER I was done writing for the night, when I was at my least-functional and sleepiest.
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