August 2016

 My apologies for my absence in these few weeks. I got sick with a cold, and just when I thought I was all better, I was hit with a sinus infection, a sore throat, a cough (I still have it), congestion (I still have it), and finally... an ear infection. Just today, I got prescribed antibiotics. My eardrum tried to rupture a few times, leading to some bleeding from my ear. It's okay. I'm fine. Even if it does rupture, it'll heal on its own. Freaky, though. And yes, I can barely hear out of that ear. Annoying.

Neither one of my ears have ever bled before, even when I had a bad earache in both ears, an infection in my right ear, and a double ear infection in my left ear. That was when I was 9 1/2. I have never experienced worse pain in my entire life, but this morning? (Actually, that was technically yesterday. August 3rd. Now it's August 4th.) It came close to that level of pain. I woke up from an ear-piercing pain around 7:30 AM, and I couldn't fall back asleep again. So, I got up, took 2 Advil, and looked up on the computer what it could be. I can't remember much, but all I remember was finding a forum that contained a father telling a story about how his 4 year-old daughter going to school with an ear infection she didn't tell him about, and having to pick her up from school because her eardrum had ruptured and there was blood coming out of her ear. He said that her doctor said that it would heal in 3 months on its own, but that antibiotics would keep it from getting infected in the meantime.

 Anyway, what else is terrible? Oh yeah. That cold I mentioned? I got my mom sick with it. What's so horrible about that, you ask? Well, it just so happens that this week is my mom's first vacation in 7 years! But at least it happened on a non-work week. She doesn't like taking off work, so much that I suspect she dismisses her colds as "just allergies" a lot. She still struggles with allergies, but it seems unrealistic that a mid-aged woman who gets 4 - 6 hours of sleep all the time, hasn't gotten sick with a cold for at least 2 years.

 But enough of this. Let's hear about my writing progress! 

 One word. 

 You: "What?"

 Hahaha! It's just for this month! Don't worry! I wrote a fair bit more than that in the last part of July before I got sick. I just have to go back and count the words, because I was working on the hand-written part that happens in the very beginning of the book. 

Yesterday, I did have an idea for a song a character sings. So far, I'm ten lines in. But I don't count it as part of my writing until I go over it and decide not to change words around anymore. I tend to do that in songs/poetry. 

 I think, "Oh, wait. This looks better over here, and these three words are unnecessary." 

 Editing is fun. It reminds me of a jigsaw puzzle. 

 Speaking of which, I've been having a little fun on a jigsaw-solving website on and off for several months: Jigidi. Isn't that a cute name? I couldn't decide on what to make out of my username, so I called myself "PuzzleToothbrush" and made my profile picture a Photoshopped cross between a fish head and a half-peeled banana (not made by me). Why? It's just amusing. 

 I like to amuse myself and imagine making a person grin, then I laugh by imagining the look on their face. I'm the kind of person who laughs at a joke, suddenly stops and stares at a friend (trying not to laugh), then sputters back into laughter again. I'm also the type who, after everybody, including myself, laughs at a joke, I end up hearing it playing all over again in my head (especially if it's a funny sound) and laugh again and again until I manage to force myself to shut up into a dying last choke/giggle. I have a good audio memory when it comes to humor, but it's hard to make me truly laugh with a long, complex joke, or one that requires too much thinking. (I think and process information slower than the average person, so it takes me longer to get a joke. Sometimes I forget details in long ones, and I end up not getting it in the end. I don't like annoying people or making them feel bad or think that I was insulted by their joke, so I just pretend to be amused. I end up feeling stupid or super awkward because of that.) Or jokes that require asking me questions. (Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was lame, too-short, and puny!) Puns and nonsensical comedy (Silly things and whatever doesn't exactly make sense. Examples: YouTube Poop, Gmod videos, movie spoofs and parodies) never fail me. I find it hard not to grin in public when I hear a guy trying to imitate the high-pitched voice of a woman/girl. Things that catch me by surprise at the least expected times? Classic.

 But enough about what amuses me.

 I totally lost track of time writing this post, so it's already 1:50 AM. I have to get well, so please pray/wish/hope that I do very soon.

 Thank you for staying with me on my writing journey so far! :-)

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 It's August 10th, and I'm pretty much all better. My hearing is returning (near normal now), and my nasal congestion is almost nonexistent (I have morning and late night allergies at home.).
 Yesterday and today, I was working on playing catch-up here because I was editing and writing in late July and early August, but hadn't documented it in this blog, yet. So, my game of catch-up: Counting how many words I did each day. Manually. Because, as you know, I'm writing the very beginning of this book long-hand until I reach the part where I started it in the electronic (typed) document of G4:O. I've just finished and updated the "July 2016" post, so you can see the days you have not seen before. Not much to look at, to be honest. Since I didn't write much more than a bit of editing one or two words, and how I didn't post them the same day I wrote/edited, there isn't much of my usual rambling towards the bottom.
 One thing I forgot to mention, however, is that I bought a few pet fancy mice on July 23rd. Unfortunately, one of them was chasing and biting the smallest one. From the answers I could find, it was either displaying dominance, or their home was too small. Since we didn't want a mouse that had a history of aggression, regardless of the reasons, because you never know if nothing works, I took it back to the pet store.
 Bad news, though: The smallest one, a black mouse named Luna, died yesterday. She was sneezing the day I got her, but I just thought it was food dust because she was eating at the store. Wrong. She slowly got worse, and I looked it up and determined it was likely a cold. It seemed likely at the time because I had a cold the week prior, and mice can get sick with many of our illnesses. I didn't think about how she was sneezing at the store. Her symptoms even seemed to be a cold, and I learned in a pet mouse forum online that colds in mice would end on their own but that the flu was deadly to them. So, I guess it was the flu, instead? Odd thing was that she seemed to be getting better for her last two days; more lively after several days of sleeping a lot and barely having her eyes open. Then she straight out-of-the-blue died. I'll call the pet store tomorrow, but I doubt anything could be done about it now. I don't know actually. We'll see. What I do know, though, is I'll never buy the runt of a litter, let alone a mouse by itself in a tank, ever again. It didn't seem to make sense at the time why Luna wasn't in with the others, but I get a hunch now that they separated her because she was sick and getting picked on by the other mice. But since I'm guessing and don't know the full truth, I won't be dead-set sure just on that information.
(Ramble, ramble, ramble. I'll finish this blabber tomorrow)
*Next earlimorn, Aug 11th* (Nope. Not tonight. Too tired. Maybe tomorrow.)
*Next earlimorn, Aug 12th*
 I haven't called the pet store yet. Maybe I'll do it this weekend since I'm feeling better.
 Man, illness after illness around here. I got a cold, then a sore throat, cough, post-nasal drainage, and an ear infection so bad, it made my ear bleed a little for a few days. (There was so much pressure, my ear drum tried to rupture, but it didn't.) Then there was me getting my mom and sister sick, and the mouse dying after getting sick. Thankfully, the other mouse, whom I named Tree for her markings (I'll post a picture here later of her. There's a tree on her side, so I named her Tree. I'm not good at naming pets.
 Characters are a fair bit easier to name, but I still haven't decided on one particular character. I created him 9 years ago. I think once it gets close to writing his first appearance into the book I'm working on right now, I'll have a name for him. Many of my characters were named like that. I don't know him a lot, yet, so it's hard to match a name to his personality. I don't really have hugely important scenes with him (as originally planned when I daydreamed the whole book so many years ago). He's rather quiet and solitary, wise but leaves younger folk to take care of most problems. People respect him, so he doesn't have to talk much.
 I like him. Even though I live in a technological world where people's faces are super glued to their phones and other electronic methods of communicating, I have reason for not liking to talk. Speech problems, slow mental processing, people not understanding, people being too chatty, being sensitive to being interrupted all the time (I'm more patient with people other than my mom, but with her? It's countless times a day! She has problems of her own, though.), lack of self-confidence, beating myself up for my failures to be a normal human being, and social anxiety.
 Why in the world did I want to work in a library with social anxiety, you ask? Well, I knew it'd help me in the long run. The only way to tackle a problem is to run into it. I've actually been slowly improving.
 Eye contact is my main issue, now. I'm afraid of looking at a person for too long, afraid people will think I'm staring at them or something. People around here are paranoid. I remember it as a kid especially: When anybody would look at me, I'd wonder why they're looking at me. Remembering it now, since I had nightmares of people staring at me wide-eyed without answering me ("What's wrong? What is it? Please! Tell me!") on many occasions, it's probably because of those, too. I'd always start crying in my dream because I despaired from their torment and wanted them to stop. I'd wake up choking and sobbing myself awake, only to find my eyes soaking in tears. ...Come to think of it, I think it all started because of those nightmares. Good to know.

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August 2nd
1 word (writing beginning of G4:O longhand)
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August 3rd
49 words (writing beginning of G4:O longhand)
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August 7th
83 words (writing beginning of G4:O longhand)
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August 8th
Half-midday, half at night
1,068 words (writing beginning of G4:O longhand)

Woohoo! Look who's back! *strikes imaginary illness flat with a cartoonishly large hammer*
But I'm falling asleep with a cat sleeping on my lap, so I bid you a good night/day.
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August 10th
12:27 PM (15 minutes)
202 words (writing beginning of G4:O longhand)

 I haven't been getting much sleep since I started working again. Grr. I'm glad I'm back to writing again, but must it also come with my usual restlessness at night? Going to bed and getting up in the earlimorn isn't my cup of tea, especially when I wake up, and it's a habit I'm struggling to break from ever since I finished writing G3:DF. Trust me, if you don't have a job and/or get out of school, don't get into an awful habit of going to bed around 4, 5, 6, or 7 AM and getting up at 12, 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5 PM. Besides waking up bewildered at seeing a sunset instead of a sunrise and not seeing and enjoying the light of day for long, you'll also be inclined to gain a little weight (depending on your genetics and many other factors, of course), have less energy (odd levels of melatonin, perhaps?), have uncomfortable dreams, sometimes feel like the waking word is a dream, and have difficulty re-regulating your sleep cycle (even after 2 years). Just... don't... do... it. I don't care what Shia LaBeouf says.
 P.S. In case you've forgotten, "earlimorn" is a word I made up to use in my book series. I occasionally like making up words when I find the means "early morning". That's normally 12 - 8 AM. If you think 8 AM isn't early, then you aren't an early bird. I normally wake up on weekends anywhere from 9:30 AM and 12:30 PM, depending on how much sleep I get the night before. My main characters are early birds, but I'm not. Lol.
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August 11th
12:50-ish PM
25 words (writing beginning of G4:O longhand)

I had a long, busy day. Nothing really new. Just busy. On 3 1/2 hours of sleep. I had to do a bunch of things before bed. And trust me, this little sleep is not about to be a habit. *moans*
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August 15th
Approximately 12:30 PM
12 words (writing beginning of G4:O longhand)

 My little cousins came to visit yesterday! (The 14th. Today's really the 19th, but I'm writing here for the 15th.) At first, we thought they were coming over on Saturday, so I was busy rushing around all day to get the place cleaned and organized.
 My mom and sister are slobs. The kind of people who drop stuff on the floor like shoes or books and leave it sticking out in high-traffic areas. I don't know how they don't trip. Er, well, they do stub their toes a lot at least, but they don't learn. I'm always the grumpy one who stops before a thing or two (or three) in my way, shoves it aside with my foot, and gripes about the obstacle course they somehow don't mind being there. If I had my own place, it'd have half the junk, be organized using containers, and own little more than what I do now. (I keep my possession count to a minimum due to lack of room thanks to the two clutter clowns. Lol. But I'm happy doing that anyway. It doesn't take much to make me happy. Having once lived with an abusive clutter clown that had too much money and always bought me mountainous piles of gifts for my birthday and for Christmas, I can whole-heartedly say that money does not make me happy. It's being with a family that loves you and knowing what you love most and sticking to it. My mom and sister aren't perfect, but at least it isn't near as bad as when I lived with the aunt of terror and torment.
 Anyway, about the fun day with the cousins: Who came: My cousin L (names abbreviated for privacy reasons), her three children: K, age 8, girl. D jr., age 6, boy. D, age 2, boy. Also who came over: My cousin L's sister-in-law (can't remember her name) and her little 18-month-old boy. (I can't remember his name, either. It was noisy and chaotic, and it takes me several days of meeting a person and re-learning their name to actually learn it. Same or worse problem with their face. I can't place a face if I've only seen them weeks or months apart, and it has to have a name and memory attached to it that stands out in some way, or it simply becomes just a stranger, a face that's part of the crowd called "the rest of the world." For the longest time, I felt bad about it. I still have an awkward moment now and then, but I've come to accept that it's just the way I am. I'm not a "normal" person. I don't have a "normal" brain. I learn at my own pace. If I tried to force myself to be what I am not, to do what I can not do, I would simply be frustrated at myself to no end and hate my life. Just like I did countless times before for years. I struggled through school imploding all the time. It didn't help how my teachers got frustrated, too, but my inner struggle didn't help me, either. I'd get so frustrated trying and trying to concentrate and understand my schoolwork, I'd implode. Little did I know that anxiety and stress made me partially shut down so that the words coming out of the mouth of my teacher were little more than the "hwa-hwa-hwa-hwa-hwaaa" of the adults Charlie Brown heard in Peanuts. As the seconds passed by, the pressure built up higher and higher until I'd totally shut down. Nothing in the world was able to come in and be processed by my brain. Nothing in the world around me made sense. The world itself made no sense. I would sit there in a void with a moving image, as though in a movie. It was simply there because it wasn't there. It was just a burned-in image, as though you just shut off a TV after it showed the same thing for hours on end. Nothing existed anymore but yourself. Not until I was 17 did I truly feel confident when I was learning things new. After I had the dream that inspired the " G" book series I'm currently writing, I strove to improve myself. I had a goal to "at least learn a little about a lot of things", and I firmly stuck to it. I started to find ways to help myself learn, to find the right perspective on learning. I had the drive to improve myself, to augment myself, as though adding more blocks to a Lego robot to make it look bigger and cooler. Reading books and textbooks helped the most with this. Sometimes I wouldn't do my homework and would just read well beyond the stopping point. Because things were just so interesting. Everything. It was there that I learned that it was knowledge that was interesting. History wasn't interesting. Literature wasn't interesting. It was knowledge.)
...Okay, I think I got carrying away there quite a bit and went way off topic, but that's okay, I guess. I got it out of me.
...Nope. I have a thought to add to it:
...That's why I think teachers shouldn't ask all the time, "What is your favorite subject?" It makes kids choose. It separates different kinds of knowledge into categories which allow them to be stereotyped. "History is boring." "P.E. is fun!" "Literature is boring." No. Knowledge is fun. Learning is fun. That's the message that many teachers are trying to get across. If you are just as enthusiastic as each other about teaching, if you make it known that you are passionate about teaching the subject and that you love it so much, and you are excited about it, they will see it and will get so jealous that you're having fun and they're not, they'll want to get in on what you're so excited about. They'll think, "What is so cool about this? Come on, tell us!" And then they'll be on a search by themselves to discover the fun in the subject. Learning is a journey, not an assembly line.
 I've had teachers who taught like they had to just so that they could get paid. I've had teachers who've put a lot of energy and effort behind their teaching. Even if you really don't have much energy inside, fake it. It will do wonders on your students' behaviors and grades.
 A shout out to my awesome teachers through the years: Mrs. White (I've had two in my life: 1st grade and 6th grade, at different schools, both with husbands in the military. This one's for 1st grade Mrs. White.), Mrs. Mace (also 1st grade, same classroom), Mr. Davis (4th grade, Aniwa Elementary in Wisconsin, now closed down. I was only there for a few months, but it was pleasant knowing him, learning how to make my desk organized [I had poor organization skills.], and learning to sing "Jolly Old Saint Nicolas".), Mrs. Mitchell (5th grade. Boy, did she have a love for teaching! She taught all kinds of stuff. And she had us do a lot of hands-on things, including making and painting plaster masks on our faces similar to how the Ancient Egyptians did long ago to the bodies of their dead that turned into mummies. I still have it. I'll take a picture very soon and share it to you. Oh, and she also took us on a field trip to Camp Casey, directed class plays in the school library, and played the piano while she sung in a sweet, cheery voice that still makes me smile to this day. I can still sing most of the Fifty Nifty song. Her singing it sounded way better than any YouTube video that's ever been uploaded. Trust me, I've tried. They all sound corny. "Fifty! Nifty! United States from thirteen original colonies! Shout 'em! Scout 'em! Tell all about 'em! [etc.] Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut. [etc.]" There's about five or six states I've forgotten over the years, but it's otherwise stuck in my head all these 14 years. I've found quite a use from it. Everything from school assignments in later years to online quizzes. And that is how you teach, teachers.), Mr. Ayers (12th grade, Washington State History. He looks, sounds, and acts like an enthusiastic military guy. Not strict. He had a voice loud and firm that slightly echoed in the room, but he never barked or screamed at us. He was like everybody's dad. He loved teaching. I'm pretty sure he's still teaching the same class, too.), Mr. Weiner (Pronounced "winer" to those of you snickering. 12th grade, same school, World History. Hands down, the best history teacher. Except when he gets mad at you for talking over him. There was one dude that kept pushing Mr. Weiner's buttons all the time. Mr. Weiner would either yell, smack a yard stick against an empty desk next to him, or both. One time, he hit it so hard, the yard stick broke in half. It was loud enough to make everyone jump. He taped it together later, but then it broke again not long after, so then he stopped using it altogether. But about his teaching: He would make bulleted slideshows for us to copy down and take notes from. Even though he could have printed them off, it made us memorize it better by writing it by hand. Plus, the length of each of them would have taken millions of expensive printer paper to accomplish. What was funny was how he'd do the slides: Funny pictures every now and then that were still on topic, and one sound effect whenever a leader would make a big mistake [and history repeats itself, so there were a lot of them]: Homer Simpson shouting, "DOH!" Mr. Weiner would also talk in a casual way, pointing out the flaws in leaders' decisions in a critical point of view. Like when a country would stupidly try to invade Russia on foot in the middle of winter "not once, but twice in a row! You'd think they'd learn the first time, right?" *clicks a button* Homer: "DOH!" *we laughed* Oh, yeah. One more awesome thing about Mr. Weiner: He had an obsession with Star Wars. In fact, he had huge Star Wars posters on every wall of his classroom. It certainly kept the room cool when the morning sun would shine in. He had the upper windows covered in posters, too. When we were quietly working on tests, he'd play instrumental movie music, with a few Star Wars songs mixed in. Then he had his idol, Yoda, sitting atop the projector. It was a vinyl plastic decoration about a foot tall. He was so old, his hair had fallen off in places. Mr. Weiner would sometimes joke that he was watching us, so we'd better be working. Yoda is his favorite Star Wars character.), and finally...
Mrs. Watson-East (Everybody called her Beth. She was like everybody's close pal. Sometimes like a mom, too. If I had a favorite teacher in all my life, it'd have to be her, followed by Mrs. Mitchell, Mr. Weiner, and Mr. Ayers. 12th grade, same school, Simplified Algebra A and B. Yep, I still struggle with math to this day. I can't multiply in my head beyond 2s, some 4s, 5s, and 9s. I forgot for the umpeenth time how to do division on paper. And I can't add or subtract high numbers without doing it on a calculator or on paper. Thankfully, I'm not required to do it a certain way anymore. It's not like I didn't like Beth's class and her teaching. Math just doesn't stick for very long. I just don't have a mathematical sort of brain. Maybe my imagination stole a chunk of that space in my head. My imagination section is beefed up and muscular from frequent use and my math section is a skinny wimp. When I was in her class, though, I did do well. Sometimes, I even figured out alternative ways to solve questions using methods that I made up that worked for me. Whatever works, right? I still have plenty of papers I completed. I used to be a C and F student, especially for math, but in her class? She rocked it, therefore I rocked it. It was a smaller classroom, so she was able to come to me sooner when I needed help, which kept inner frustration at a minimum. I wasn't one to internally implode or anything, but I would have felt bad about me being stupid and gotten restless from having to wait too long. That was one word that I was no allowed to say around her: Stupid. When her kids grew up, she never allowed them to say the word, "Stupid". For any reason. It's understandable. Stupid can be directed at a person to be mean, it could be directed at the self to beat oneself up, or it could be used to increase or promote ones hate towards something. "Math is stupid! This is stupid! This stupid zipper is broken!" Nothing is stupid. You can tackle anything. You can fix it. You can improve. I think that's why she didn't like the word. I use it a lot, and frankly it barely has much meaning to me. Sure, sometimes I'll beat myself up with it, and that's not healthy, but I've been using it for humor and all sort of things. It's just a funny sounding word. It was once one of my alternative cussing words (I once cussed, but then I got bored because everybody says the same things all the time. It's also bad and frowned upon in general, so I fixed it by making up my own "curse words". I've been making new ones ever since. But, yeah. Beth genuinely cared about all of us. Individually. She'd stay as long as three hours after school ended for the day just to help a kid with his/her homework so that they could improve their grades and help them learn how to do something. She stick around and listen to someone's story about a bad day they're having, or about chaos at home. She'd give great advice, give out useful numbers to call to help them out, even tell stories of her own hard childhood. I stuck around often because I couldn't concentrate and do homework at home. I'd fall behind in a class, too. I only failed one class because it required me to read a bunch of books I did not have time to read. AP Literature. Reader's block is a real thing, too. Oh, and I'm never reading Huckleberry Finn ever again. Reading that book was like trying to read in another language. Too many words and terms not commonly used nowadays, and the speech took me forever and never to read and understand. Making a bunch of quizzes and a major test that affected the majority of a student's grade was a huge mistake. It make me so upset to hear that several of the students in my class failed to pass the class, too. But I made up some of the credits lost by volunteering in my school library. Which marked the beginning of my public library life. With the things I did in the school library, it was basically equal to a library page position at a public library. Checking in and checking out books via the computer and book scanner, pushing a cart, etc. Of course, I did more than that. I helped out with a bunch of extra things such as helping with setting up a long poster, fetching textbooks from a storage room, running errands, and I can't remember what else. It was quite fun. I like feeling helpful. Always have. Ever since I was little. I often felt left out or unimportant, still do, so I've always like running errands, fetching things to solve problems, finishing things, etc. I guess by keeping busy, I feel more accomplished. I prove to myself that I am important for some things.)
...Uh, I'm getting way off track again. It's 2:36 AM. The mind train has derailed. I don't know where I'm going here, so I bid you a good night/morning.
...No, shut up, Jen. You totally forgot that you were originally talking about your cousins coming over.

To make it short and quick, lest I ramble off topic again:
My cousins came over to visit, I gave them some baby books, clothes, and a giant floor piano mat I found at a yard sale a couple of months ago. I had a bunch of [exhausting] fun running back and forth with the kids on the piano. Even the babies loved it. It went home with them 70+ miles away. I wonder how long the batteries will last? Hahaha!
Oh, and my sister gave them each a giant stuffed animal she was getting rid of. Cousin L said they slept with the stuffed animals that night. ^_^ So adorable.

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Aug 16
Approximately 12:30 PM
-5 in editing, 40 words in writing (writing beginning of G4:O longhand)

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Aug 17
Approximately 12:30 PM
34 words (writing beginning of G4:O longhand)

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Aug 18
Approximately 12:30 PM
139 words (writing beginning of G4:O longhand)

It's going to be in the lower 90's (Fahrenheit) this weekend. Ugh.
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Aug 21
[Who knows what time? I'm getting a little fed up with keeping note of the times. I'm writing all over the place. I'll write a little midday, stop, then do a bunch more at night. I'm going to start not recording the times I stop writing, because it's just not practical anymore. I write when I will, and I write when I can. It was fun for a while, but I was doing it for myself because I thought I'd find it interesting to see my writing time patterns in the future. It was for a while, especially looking back in G3:DF, but now I'm a busy lady who doesn't stay up as late as 4, 5, 6, or 7 AM. I'll only pick it back up again if enough of you complain in the comments section below. Honestly, I don't think anybody is reading this blog. Blogger, a.k.a. Blogspot, is rather unpopular compared to Tumblr, Wordpress, etc. But I don't mind. I originally made these writing log blogs for my own records, just for fun, and to give me an extra motivational push to keep writing. I went from a cute sticker chart to this, and now I might soon start recording it elsewhere. Actually, since some of you might not like saying goodbye, I'll keep this blog running and do my initial writing here, making you still the first ones to read a new post as it's posted or edited. I like the simple style with all the tools in full view.]
114 words (writing beginning of G4:O longhand)

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Aug 22
51 words (writing beginning of G4:O longhand)

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Aug 23
83 words (writing beginning of G4:O longhand)

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Aug 24
247 words (writing and editing beginning of G4:O longhand)

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Aug 25
139 words words (writing and editing beginning of G4:O longhand)

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Aug 29

157 words (writing beginning of G4:O longhand)

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Aug 30

420 words (writing beginning of G4:O longhand)

July 2016

3:17 AM
7,711 words total in separate document (so far)
July 1st

 The story is at a fast pace right now, making my keyboard sound like a hailstorm. It's making it hard for me to stop for the night, but I think I've found a semi-suitable place to stop.
 Last night I had 4 hours of sleep, and that was a bit too much for comfort. I woke up feeling okay, though. The day went well. I only started feeling sleepy towards the very end of my workday, which was a good thing. But it's not a habit I want to adopt. I like keeping track of how much sleep I'm going to get each night. Let's see... if I go to bed at 3:30 (It's in a few minutes, but it's approximate), I'll get 5 hours of sleep. I like to get 6 or 7 at least. I do best on 8 or 9 hours of sleep, but that almost never happens during the workweek. My mind is somehow more busy during the workweek, which means my imagination is more awake and my inspiration factory is running fluidly.
 I am yi[ong this with my eues c;sed/ = I am typing this with my eyes closed.
 Sorry if I accidentally cursed in your home language (if applicable). I couldn't keep my eyes open. They felt heavy all of a sudden and it was too hard to open them for a moment, so I decided to experiment to see how how I could type with my eyes closed when I am this tired. As you can see, not very good.
 Let's try it again:
 I am yo[ing this whith my eyes cloed. = I am typing this with my eyes closed.
 Mind you, I'm normally fairly good at doing this when I'm not falling half-asleep. Get more sleep, kids! I'm not your sleeping role model! I have problems. I am not a normal living human being. I am a zombie (sleep-deprived person) with the knowledge on how to cure my zombie disease and turn back into a normally-functioning human, but I am not curing myself because I have a craving for brains (writing).
 It's 3:42 AM now. I must... *dozes off for nearly two full minutes, having a dream I can't remember* squish my pillow with my face. Good night (and day!) to you.

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1:24 AM
8,068 words total in separate document (so far) <--Haha, I originally pasted a jpeg link to a video game character here! Oops. Sorry about that! (That was funny, though.)
July 2nd

 I felt very sleepy, so I decided to close my eyes and relax. Unable to open my eyes again, I started to fall asleep. A long moment later, my head jerked up from dipping low to the side.
 I am wiped out. Pooped. Done. Exhausted and tired. All this week, I've had little sleep and still done alright at work, even on the busiest days. Today was brutal, but I had loads of energy. I always get a strong thrill from being busy like that. Rush, rush, rush! Do all sorts of things! We need you! Without it, I doubt myself and go over my failures, awkwardness around certain kinds of people, and my embarrassing moments.
 Anyway, I finished work today feeling like shelving several cartloads of books (equivalent to feeling like running a marathon!). ...Which is exactly what was there. Why? It's the 4th of July weekend. This Monday is the 4th of July, and people are returning their books, DVDs, and other library materials all at once because they are making room to have several family members coming over to celebrate with them, etc. Last year, it was crazy. The morning of July 5th had in store for Circ (Circulation area of the library. That's where we check in and check out books, as well as get them ready on book carts to be shelved.) a surprise: A huge mountain of books spilled in from the outside book drop! This is why it's best not to turn in your CDs and DVDs through the outside book drop on the day of a holiday, when the library is closed, if you can help it. It's understandable when you absolutely can't, but keep in mind that CD cases might crack.
 This is the sixth or seventh time that I dozed off and jerked my head up, so I think I'll this right now. (It's 2:02 AM, and I get to sleep in tomorrow. Hooray!"

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2:20 AM
8,613 words total in separate document (so far)
July 3rd

 I don't know what to type here. as I am very sleepy right now. I'll try to post a picture of a sunset or something interesting here tomorrow.
For most of the day today, instead of a lot of writing, I had to do a lot of research for a couple of things in the book I'm currently writing. I'm satisfied with the results. In addition to the research, I also daydreamed several of the scenes I'm currently writing until I was satisfied.

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3:25 AM
8,719 words total in separate document (so far)
July 4th

 [Either my computer was being slow for no apparent reason, or Blogger just wasn't working right. I can't remember. It was late at night, so I wrote down July 4th's log.]

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 I'm about to write, now. :-) Check back in a little bit for July 5th's log. I won't write very much tonight because I want to go to bed early. Every holiday is the same: People turn in a ton of books and other materials in the outside drop box, so I'm going to have to really work fast shelving tomorrow. The weekend was already busy because people were returning their books, etc. before they left for the Independence weekend to visit family, etc.
 How was my 4th of July? Relaxed, cold, and sleepy. Living in the Pacific Northwest comes with the perks of cool, wet weather. It was mostly cloudy for most of the day, and it rained several times. Since I've seen the same, boring parade every year without seeing much of anything new in it, I chose not to go see it with my mom and sister. It was early in the morning, too, so I definitely did not want to go. (After all, I was awake until almost 4 AM last night. Lol.) It was cold and breezy outside, so I never took foot outside. I later hooked up my laptop to our new flatscreen TV so that we could watch the Orlando, Florida DisneyWorld fireworks and the New York Macy's fireworks live stream online. It was a treat compared to our city's budget cut funded firework display. Again, my mom and sister went to go see it tonight and were disappointed. It was even shorter than last year's display. Oh well. At least we got to watch the good stuff.
 Besides from that, my head has lately been sparking with ideas. I've been writing side notes. I can't tell you much, only that it has to do with... I'll give you a one-word clue... instincts. You may not think that is a big hint now, but you'll understand later. ;-)
 Alright! I'm off to write!
...

And I'm back to deliver tonight's word count, etc.:

2:01 AM
9,134 words total in separate document (so far)
July 5th

I hope you had a happy and safe 4th of July (for those who apply)!

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 Teaser: I can't say I didn't write today, but it wasn't where you think I did! ;-D
 ...Okay, it was the very beginning of G4:O. Yeah, so I'm writing all over the place, now. But I'm not keeping track of how much I'm writing for the very beginning, because I'm writing it longhand while I'm on my break at work. So I guess you can say that I am writing all over the place literally and figuratively. Heheh.
 So, I put a halt on writing the main body of G4:O (where I stopped) so that I will know what has occurred in the very beginning and where things left off before certain characters left the place they were at in the beginning.
 ...That might have been a tiny spoiler. Oh well. You won't have any idea of what's going on when you start reading G4:O, even if you do know it.
 "But you just revealed that these characters will be leaving this place for a while!"
 But you don't know anything else, do you? How long they are actually gone, for instance? Because even though I've technically been working on this book for a while now, I'm still far from being done. Actually, I don't know where G5:? (I'm not telling you the abbreviated title yet) even begins. I think it might just turn into the same issue that Christopher Paolini had when he was writing Brisingr and Inheritance: Brisingr got too long, so he had to make another book.
 Only difference: I already know G5:? will exist. I just don't know how long it will be and where to cut off G4:O. Yes, I don't know when G4:O will ends and G5:? will begin. There are some things I no longer remember when I was planning G5:?. After all, I daydreamed the book series (from G3:DF onward) several times without being able to type anything down (when I was age 15 - 17).
 All I had was pencil/pen and paper. It's much slower-going when you're writing longhand, especially when you've got a pinky finger knuckle that suddenly starts to cramp and hurt as though someone were twisting it hard. And no, I still haven't got it x-rayed, yet. I know it healed wrong. My aunt was such a heartless creature, she simply took a lightning quick glance at it and waved it off, saying "You're fine! You don't need to go to the hospital!"
 Anyway, there are many things I don't remember, and some things I remember and choose not to keep. I'm sometimes thinking about it, though. It has to do with one important character. He drives me nuts, really. Think of it like this: You don't want your readers to know much about a character, so you make yourself not know much about him, either. It doesn't make sense, does it? But that way, he/she remains a mystery. Which is just who this person is. And why he drives me nuts. And if I feel this way, you definitely will feel this way. It's like a torment, but it's also like a self-challenge of patience. ...Okay, I need not say anymore. I'm probably driving you nuts just talking all cryptic here. Sorry about that.
 It does make you eager to read it so you can understand what I'm talking about, though, right? But that's not why I said these things just now. I just wanted to torment you. Muahahahaha! ...Just kidding. No, I said all this because I felt the need to give you another clue as to what I'm writing and what kinds of problems I'm having currently. Because every once in a while, it's good to keep people interested in whatever projects you're working on. It also gives a future reader insight into what they're waiting for so that it's worth reading my writing log blog posts. I don't like making it too boring for people. Patience is worth rewarding. :-)
-July 7th

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2:24 AM
9,138 words total in separate document (so far)
July 8th

 Yes, I just wrote only 4 words tonight. It might not have been worth it to log here, but I did it anyway. I can't stay awake and am bound to doing anything stupid like this. Avoid getting only 5 hours of sleep, folks! I can sleep in tomorrow, though.

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2:17 AM
10,609 words total in separate document (so far)
July 9th

Yay! I reached the 10,000+ word mark!
 How I'll reward myself: Sleep tonight, cookies tomorrow. Yeah, I'm a sort of Cookie Monster. Lemon cookies, sugar wafers, snickerdoodle, oatmeal raisin (A lot of people I know don't like it, but it's good for you.), anything I can get my hands on.
 Just no coconut. I don't like coconut anything besides green coconut water.
Why: The favor and texture just don't fit well together for me. That strong, perfume-like, soap-like flavor when you bite into something that crunches similar to shredded carrots, but combined with the noisy, watery pops of a million tiny bubbles (like eating styrofoam).... No thanks.
 But I've heard about how oftentimes a person will have a strong dislike of a particular food and end up allergic to it anyway. That was me in case of becoming allergic to lemongrass. I first tried it in Thai food. It has a similar taste and texture to coconut, only stronger and more lemony and minty. Remembering that, I recently looked it up and re-learned that coconut was in the palm family (Duh!). Then it clicked on in my head: "Oh, yeah. I'm allergic to [some other food I can't remember right now]."
  ...Oh! I remember why I looked it up! It's because I recently tried dried dates (for the second time in my life, after many years) and had the same loathing for them. Dates and coconuts are both in the palm family.
...I've been dozing off several times, and my cat is right next to my computer purring like a nut (pun intended). I must obey her commands.
 P.S. Sweetie just said "go to bed" the clearest I've ever heard her say it! "Oh-oo-beh?" I'm so happy! Now I must really go to bed! ^_^

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2:07 AM
10,811 words total in separate document (so far)
July 10th

Happy Birthday, Cousin Sara! :-D (P.S. To those who don't know: I have 9 cousins! She's one of my closest ones, despite living 70 miles away.)
 I would have written more (I always feel like writing more), but my mom went to bed late and I got distracted by a TV show she had fallen asleep to (Stupid science! Why do you have to be so interesting??).
 Sweetie is on my leg, and although she looks very comfortable, her 7 pound body is making it start to cramp and hurt. I often sit criss-cross-applesauce (Hey, that's what I call it, okay? It's much better than calling it "Indian style", which is how my mom learned it in school.) ...Okay, she's off. She drank some water and is now grooming her face in a chair nearby.

 ...Nope! I had a newfound burst of wakefulness (likely because the part where I'm writing right now is getting a little more exciting.). That rarely happens, I have to tell you.
Here's the real writing log info:

3:18 AM
11,241 words total in separate document (so far)
July 10th

Good night/morning!

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3:04 AM
11,770 words total in separate document (so far)
July 11th

I was waiting for a private video to upload from my camera, so I wrote while I waited (But I wanted to write anyway). Unfortunately, I got carried away and ended up writing a whole hour after it was finished uploading. Oops. Off to bed!

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2:43 AM
12,104 words total in separate document (so far)
July 12th

 I sneezed 7 or 8 times today (2 because something floated into my nose. Yuck!), and right now I'm blowing my nose a lot. I hope it's not the beginning of a cold. I most always feel too miserable to write. (Sometimes it helps to make a "tissue walrus", but it eventually gets to my head, where I can't think and focus. I'm the kind of writer that needs very little distractions. Night time is perfect for this, but colds? A writer's worst enemy.)  But it might be irritation. Last night, I was stupid enough to clean the bathtub with non-watered-down vinegar and without the bathroom fan on, so my nose and eyes stung for several minutes until my mom came in and was like, "Whew, Jen. You need to have the fan on. It's very strong." ...Where. Was. My. Head? So, of course, I ended up being nasally and respiratorily miserable for several hours afterwards. This might be a result from it, too. We shall see what tomorrow brings....
 P.S. If I do end up sick, I will try my best to write as much as I can.
 P.S.S. If you happen to be sick right now, my Auntie Martha recommends putting a few splashes of Tabasco in chicken broth soup (I'm often too hungry for just broth, so I add a little broth to chunky chicken noodle soup and splash Tabasco in it). It works like a charm. Lots of fruit, too. And pineapple, horehound, natural licorice, and natural ginger (I like ginger chews/candy) help with a sore throat. I don't have a sore throat right now, but I know how miserable it feels, so I'm adding that in here for those of you who have it. :-)
 P.S.S.S. And yes, I do suffer from allergies. Food, chemical, and environmental! My current allergy medicine is slowly not working as well as it should, so that might have something to do with it. Ugh!

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Update (next day, July 12th): Yep. I have a cold. It's a good thing I stayed home today. My nose is a leaking faucet! :-~(

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July 13th
552 words (handwritten, very beginning of G4:O)
1:51 AM

 Yes, I decided to finally log my longhand writing, as well. It just takes up time to count each word. Sometimes, when I start daydreaming or get distracted, I forget which word was which number, so I end up getting frustrated and have to count all over again. I make note every 100 words, but it's still irritating when that happens. I should be counting by 50's instead of 100's, but either way, I end up feeling just as frustrated. It didn't happen this time, so that's good.
 Since I didn't put in how many handwritten words I did before (It's 3 pages long, which is just slightly fewer words than I did here, so it's probably about 500 words I haven't recorded here, yet.), and when I wrote them (They were 10 - 15 minute intervals during my break, so I didn't think the amount I'd write each day was significant), I'll have to put the word count in here as one total number instead of bits. I have no idea how many days I wrote. Something like two weeks. No more than four. Heck, I'll just call it three, since it lands in between the two.
 I don't feel like going back and counting the words right now, but I'll do it soon. And don't worry, I'll separate it from the honest word count of whichever day I share it here. Example:

"Month #st/nd/th

# words 

?:?? AM/PM

And here is the word count of the unknown days I hand-wrote the beginning of G4:O: 

# words"

 Now, for an update on my cold: Yesterday, I was miserable. Today, I've probably improved by 20% - 30%. It's a slow cold. Normally, I have the majority of a cold for three days, and it significantly improves on the fourth day and is nearly gone or gone by the fifth day. I can tell right now that it's probably slower by at least a day. Ugh-ly.
 I hate being sick. I hate not working. It's make me feel unproductive, like I'm not accomplishing anything important in life. I actually love my job. To those of you who hate your jobs, I apologize for saying that. I have friends who have had absolutely terrible jobs, too. I can imagine the horror stories you have about yours.
 One of my friends finally just found a job to replace her old one (though, being a babysitter having to watch a bunch of kids all at once, during the busiest time of the year, might not be the best choice....). Her old one was at a Michaels craft store, and her manager and the customers alike treated her like filth.
 Customers were mean, rude, demanding, judgmental, and they blamed her for the store's problems. People, just because a worker represents a store by working for it doesn't mean that they actually make the company decisions. Talk to a manager or write a letter or an email to the company and professionally work out your problems with them. Squabbling and yelling at a cashier won't get you anywhere. They just go home crying and talking to their family about their bad day. There are human beings everywhere around the world, and the less human beings are the ones who don't do a lot of thinking.
 Her manager, on the other hand, was mean enough to make several people quit. Her manager made her work on Thanksgiving and Black Friday for long hours just because he/she couldn't hire more workers fast enough. She couldn't sit down and enjoy Thanksgiving with her family, she had to sleep. And it was very little sleep. I can't remember, something like 3 - 5 hours of sleep. Brutal. Basically like slavery. And this happened in the United States.
 Anyway, bottom line, I boycott Michaels crafts stores. Something that's allowed to slip by like this is a good indicator that something seriously needs to be fixed within the company.
 So, I understand if you hate your job. I'd hate it, too.
 If there's a problem, go to HR (Human Resources). If there is none, do some research and find out who can put the bully in his/her place. Talk to your local government and ask them who to call about it, if nothing else. Remember: No matter how important they are to the company, you are important as a respectable human being who deserves being treated like everyone else. Your caring about and concern over others ("If it's possible to bully me, others could be next. And I don't want that to happen to anyone else.") is your best defense.
 P.S. At every single job my mom has worked at in her life, including her current one, she has been a victim of workplace bullying, discrimination (just because she's a woman), and unfairness by bosses/managers/owners/supervisors and coworkers alike. She hardly ever listens to my advice because she keeps being too afraid and wanting to wait until problems are actually bad (which "bad" seems to have no limit....), so maybe you can. You're strong. I believe in you. Be your own hero. Don't stop until it's done.

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July 14th
11:55 PM
49 words (editing very beginning of G4:O)

 I only wrote as much as I edited tonight. I like to go back and read a little before where I leave off before I continue writing. I saw some sentences that needed to be rephrased and more specific, so I fixed them. Then midnight happened, which means the next day (July 15th).
 I don't know how much I wrote afterwards for these early morning hours of July 15th. I'll count them tomorrow (one of the most annoying things about handwriting your written works is counting how many words you wrote.). I'm too tired, because I write until I can barely stay awake anymore.
 My cold is almost gone. I sneezed five times today. The nose-blowing happened mainly during the first half of the day. I've been able to breathe out of one nostril through most of today (besides the sneezing and nose-blowing sessions, of course). For most of today, I have felt a bit dizzy, especially when I look around, get up, and walk around. It's probably just from fluid in my ears or sinuses. I was quite dehydrated the other day. My lips were so chapped, they shrunk and split in two places. Painful. I was drinking plenty of water throughout the day, though. Only slightly chapped today, and the splits are healing surprising fast.
 ...I don't know why I'm sharing all this to you. It just makes me feel like somebody out there cares about my health, I guess. I don't have that much of a social life.
 *starts to fall asleep in chair*
*gets startled awake by Sweetie getting up from her chair (small scratching sound) and looking at me intently*
I know she did that on purpose. She wakes me up nearly every single time it happens. Sweet little girl.

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July 15th
Approximately 12:30 PM
220 words (editing and writing very beginning of G4:O)

And here is the word count of the unknown days (about 3 weeks at 5 - 15 minute intervals midday) I hand-wrote the very beginning of G4:O (three handwritten pages): 

711 words 

P.S. I'm not writing about basic things (from here till the end of July on this blog post), such as how my day went, because it's actually August 9th right now. I was sick with a cold, and just when I felt all better, I was hit with a burning throat and cough, then nasal congestion and some sneezing, then an ear infection that temporarily wiped out most of my ability to hear out of my left ear. I was so exhausted, I could not possibly bring myself to write. Whenever I get sick, my head is usually not clear enough to write. Plus, it's not convenient to have to cough or blow your nose a gazillion times in a matter of minutes. But don't worry. I'm about 90% all better, now.

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July 16th

Approx. 12:30 PM

4 words (editing very beginning of G4:O)

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July 17th

Approx. 12:30 PM

59 words (editing very beginning of G4:O)

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July 20th

To be continued... (I was in the middle of counting words and lost track at 63 and 52 because I kept falling asleep.) *next day passes by (It's the earlimorn of August 10th, now.)* (I spent the day counting the rest of the words I wrote up until now.)

82 words (writing very beginning of G4:O)

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July 21st
412 words (writing very beginning of G4:O)

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July 22nd
1 word (editing very beginning of G4:O)


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July 25th
2 words (editing very beginning of G4:O)

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^Referring to the last two days above
It's weird how even before you experience symptoms of illness, your brain begins to struggle concentrating or thinking clearly. I was having trouble with inspiration at that time. Then I think Tuesday (July 26th) was when I started having a burning throat and trouble talking, followed by a dry cough.