Friday, December 2, 2016

December 2016

December 1st: Document 3: 60,350 words total
Words written in this 24 hour day: 41 words

Each page and word count of book so far:
Document 1: 98 pages, 53,883 words
Document 2: 103 pages, 65,415 words
Document 3 (currently in progress): 104 pages, 60,355 words
Document 4 (where I left off): 54 pages, 32,586 words
Total pages count so far: 359 pages
Total book word count so far: 212,239 words

 For comparison, it's longer than any of the Harry Potter books besides The Order of the Phoenix. Does it sound dauntingly long? Probably, but this is not the first book in the series, nor has it gone through much of any editing. Although I could remove some scenes, I choose to do that later, so I can look at the overall picture and decide which scenes are best omitted or shortened.
 You never know how important a scene can be until you finish writing the book. So, if you're writing, don't worry about excessive word count for now. It's harder to fix things once you've taken too much out or the wrong things out. Plus, it's just a good way to distract you from writing and make you forget what you were going to write, which results in writer's block.  That's one of the reasons why writers, teachers, etc. encourage you to just write your book or paper as a rough draft to get your thoughts to come out and not stop, then revise it and pretty it up into a final draft.
 Anyway, I'm having trouble staying awake at the moment (It's 1:20 AM of December 2nd, but I had to get up an hour early yesterday morning on December 1st). I'm wiped out. Good night!


December 2nd:
Document 3: 60,369 words

December 3rd:
Document 3: 60,462 Finished Document 3! Onto Document 4! 😃
Document 4: 32,689 words

December 4th:
Document 4: 32,733 words

 The word count is creeping along rather slowly because I haven't been needing to edit or add in much. It's getting towards the end of my task. I'm on page 35 of 54. Once I have read (and edited where need be) down to where I left off several months ago, then I'll finally get back into actually writing again. I'm both excited and nervous about it. Will I know what to write, next? Will I hit a wall of indecision with a variety of choices? Several things have yet to happen, and I'll have to decide what order they'll be in. I usually just write and let things happen as the story goes along, but I'm always afraid of getting writer's block.
 If I let myself be indecisive and not do anything for too long, I might sort of give up or get lazy (get too comfortable with doing nothing), then hit the wall of writer's block. For me, when writer's block hits, I can't write for a long time. When I think about writing during writer's block, I picture writing as an exhausting and difficult feat, and moan in my thoughts, "Too hard!" Then I force myself to do or think of something else. Guilt tears me down over time, so I try not to go without writing for too long.
 Okay, time to write! 😄
 Oh, I forgot to mention: Yesterday, I visited a mall I haven't seen in 7 or 8 years. It was when I was living with my abusive aunt, so the trip was... um.... I can't quite place it in one word, but I had a flashback passing by a certain store she took me to when she was shopping for her own clothes. That day she was very angry and unpredictable. I can't remember what she was angry about, and I don't want to remember. All I know is she was so angry, I never liked passing by there. I would close my eyes so I wouldn't have to look at it. Well, I closed my eyes yesterday for the same reason, even though I didn't remember doing that years earlier. I guess some old habits never change. Anyway, I didn't have any more flashbacks for the rest of the trip, but I did have countless feelings of strange, unsettling, and somewhat uncomfortable deja vu. Certain other stores, streets, buildings, etc. Thankfully, so much had changed in the mall over 7 or 8 years (There was a lot of construction going on at the mall at the time, which made the mall become even bigger.), I had very little memory of the inside. I kept getting lost. Only a fountain, four stores, and the food court seemed familiar to me. But I had fun. A friend of mine was supposed to meet me there later, so I browsed, shopped, and ate food by myself, which allowed me to shrug off feelings of limitation. You would not believe how strict that woman was. My aunt did not let a living, breathing moment go by with me being alone in public, and she never let me go hang out with friends anywhere. I always wanted to go to the mall or theatres with a friend. I never had friends who were the rough dangerous type. Being a quiet shy girl, I had few friends, but they were all good, caring friends. But nobody knew what was happening back at "home". They had no idea I was living in total isolation for months at a time with few but a grandma who didn't want to get involved, a cousin who kept to himself, and an aunt who was verbally abusive, controlling, and ...dehumanizing. It's a harsh word, but I often felt like she was trying to limit me so much as to limit my very identity.
 ...Oh man. I just had a flashback just now. My mom was unlocking the front door behind me, and I felt like my aunt was opening my bedroom door. I can't type about this anymore. I need to stop thinking of these past things. It's too soon. Yesterday was a mind-bending event in my life, and it's too early for me to start thinking of the old memories again. It's always too early. It would be best if I never thought of any of it ever again. Just let my past be thought of as just a nightmare. Like it never really happened. ...But I won't go crazy thinking this. I know it all happened for real, I just want to not let it be part of me. Just as my mom used to say when I was a kid: "Don't worry, honey. It was just a bad dream." The bad parts of my past are not to be worried or thought about, only to be forgotten as though it was all a bad dream.


 Yahoo! I did it! I read and editing the book! Now I can finally get back to writing the book in its proper order knowing exactly what to write next! ...I think. Heheheh. 😄 I might have to make a list of things for my characters to do before they leave a certain place. That day is coming up fast.
 ...Hey! I haven't done that in a long time, have I? *smirks* Given you little hints of what I'm currently writing?  Hahaha! Old habits die hard, don't they? X'D It's 10:53 PM of December 5th right now, so once I hit midnight or decide to stop writing before then, I'll put in today's word count.

December 5th:
Document 4: 33,477 words


December 6th:
Document 4: 33,738 words

December 7th:
Document 4: 34,426 words (So far. It's 1:34 AM. Time for a quick shower, then bed. My cat had a nightmare that involved whiny growling a little bit ago, so I woke her and gave her catnip. She was happy and rolled in it. Since then, she's been sleeping in my lap as usual, but she's gotten so heavy, it's cramping up my leg! She's not fat in the least, though. I think it's just a little winter fat, since this started in Fall. ...I can't stay awake typing this. Ugh....)

P.S. My grandma went to the ER this evening after falling in her house, but there are nor broken bones to speak of, and she's back at home resting.


December 8th:
Document 4: 35,169 words

 It finally snowed! The weather forecast this week kept predicting 1 - 3'' of snow for a few days this week, but I kept getting disappointed with nothing. Then, a more certain prediction said it would definitely snow tonight. I kept waiting, looking out the window, waiting, looking out the window. Then, after I had given up most hope, I looked outside one more time and there it was! Light snowfall and gusts of strong wind!
 Knowing how this area is reputed to have short-lived snow, I thanked God for the little cheer-me-up, not caring if it only lasted 10 minutes. I was glad it snowed. It ended up snowing lightly for about an hour, then it stopped.
 Otherwise, not much else happening in life. I went to a dollar store and was able to find a bunch of stocking stuffers for Christmas. Everything from candy to toys. It's great because the energy and phone bills have gotten higher lately, so there's been a need to save money. I'm not sure why the phone bill has gotten so high (I think it's because the phone company decided to change its costs a little bit, but we'll call them and find out.), but the energy bill has gotten higher because we've been running the heater more often. It's been cold lately. Last night, it was 19 F (-7.22 C).
 It doesn't usually get that cold here, so we're not used to it. My mom and I both get cold easily. For instance, I've been using hand warmer packets to keep my hands warm. Otherwise, my hands feel like ice and get stiff. When I feel cold, and my hands feel cold, then I get uncomfortable and restless, resulting in less writing. Because not only am I distracted by my bodily discomfort (reality), but my brain can't think or focus as well as it needs to (slower brain function = little imagination).
 My way of getting warm at home: Fuzzy pajamas, fuzzy bathrobe, slipper socks (fuzzy or knitted), heater, warm-hot tea (I don't like food and drinks too hot. Burning my tongue ruins taste, and I prefer to enjoy flavor over trying to be tough.), holding my hands under running hot water, and I just recently started trying hand warmers.
...I just looked outside!! It snowed a lot more!! 😃
...I can barely type this. Or read this for that matter. I was on the porch taking pictures and videos of the snow (It's supposed to rain in the wee hours of the morning), so my fingers are numb and my glasses are fogged up. ...Okay, I put my glasses back on. It's just a little fogy in the corners, but I can still see out of them.
 Brr! It's 30 degrees! Yep, I'm a wimp compared to most of the rest of you. Western Washington is known for its mild temperatures, so I don't doubt many of you are used to much colder temperatures.
 But I love snow. I don't care if it gets cold, I love seeing and playing in snow. I'm a 24 year old woman who loves building snowmen, and I plan on trying new things with it. Two years ago, I put a little glitter on mine for an extra sparkle. Maybe if I get more snow that will last longer, I'll build a snow dragon! Last year's little bit of snow didn't stick very well (It was that annoying powdery kind), but I hope this year will be my opportunity to explore my abilities.
 ...I'm too sleepy to upload you pictures of the snow! I was sitting here looking through the video I took of the snow and making still images within the video, but I can't continue. I have to go to bed now. I can't stay awake. Goodbye, snow! 😞 The rain will probably melt it all before I wake up tomorrow.


Guess what I did? I built a snow dragon! 😁
4 videos:

The spiked tail and hips:

The finished dragon (with a bucket head):

I couldn't finish it because I was cold from being outside for 3 hours, and the temperature was rising, which was making the snow clump up. That's why the wings look so lumpy. It was hard to make it stick together. The bucket head? Same reason. I knew if I started on it, I wouldn't be able to stop until it had high detail. Maybe next time. This was the first snow dragon I had ever made. All others I've ever made were snowmen. It was fun. 😊

Oh, and that day (December 9th), I did not write a single word. Oops! After I was done with the snow dragon, I went home and made myself some genmaicha tea. 
 It's probably my favorite tea. I also like pu-ehr tea, but only if it's high quality and very expensive. I only tried it once, at the Seattle Tea Festival, but I loved it.
 Anyway, it took a long time for me to get warm again. My fingers were almost impossible to get warm again. That's one of the reasons why I couldn't write. I was also too cold to think, and I only had 6 hours of sleep the night before. I didn't remember that and didn't mention it in any of the videos.
 But yeah, I had fun anyway. Oh! I almost forgot! I made one other thing:

Before I started on the snow dragon, I made this with the bucket (before the wind knocked it down):


December 10th:
Document 4: 36,574 words

December 11th:
Document 4: 37,313 words

All of the snow melted by the next morning, by the way. 😢 But that's usually what happens around here. It snows once or twice a year, and it usually doesn't last long, either. We usually get a lot of rain in fall, winter and spring, and if it isn't raining, it's cloudy or windy or all three at the same time. I wish we had more snow! 😫

And nothing new much happening otherwise. I've been doing a little Christmas shopping, including going to a dollar store for stocking stuffers and taking my sister to the mall to find gifts for our mom. She bought one thing for me, but it doesn't take much to make me happy.

 I was going to bake some cookies tonight, but my left arm is sore from pulling a bunch of board books from the shelves for inspection. Since babies are prone to making messes, chewing or sucking on books, and ripping lift-the-flap board books, we check for damage or yucky stuff. (P.S. If you ever come across a damaged or yucky book in a library, or you accidentally damage it or make it dirty or sticky, always feel free to notify library staff so they can clean or fix it. Don't try to do it yourself! 😊 )
 Even though it can be gross or sad seeing damaged books, I find the task fun. I like prettying up displays and making things better, organizing and cleaning and the like. It's something that's hard-wired in my brain. It's largely because my mom had so much trouble with my brother making messes and throwing tantrums all the time, I'd end up being the one fetching items and doing favors for her. It was really the only times when I felt noticed, loved, and appreciated as a child, because all other times I was slow-minded, clumsy, a coward, and wanted to help when I couldn't. It was hard watching the world around me fall apart all the time.
 Anyway, tomorrow and the next day will involve plenty of cookie-baking! 😁 I'll be baking peanut butter cookies, and chocolate chip cookie Christmas trees. The trees will be simple: Bake cookies of differing sizes, then "glue" them together in a stack from large to small with icing. I saw the idea on Pinterest, and I loved it for its beautiful simplicity:
If you can't see it in the link:

 I'm not sure if I'd add that much icing, though. I don't want it to be too messy when friends separate the cookies. I might add the sprinkles. I'm not sure, yet.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ *shrugs*
 I'm not sure if I'll be able to write the day after tomorrow (I'll try to write tonight past midnight for tomorrow's writing), but we'll see.


December 12th:
Document 4: 37,578 words

December 13th:
Document 4: 37,643 words

December 16th:
Document 4: 40,889 words

I made these (and this video)! Details later. I'm busy writing at the moment.


December 17th:
Document 4: 41,213 words

December 18th:
Document 4: 42,199 words

December 19th:
Document 4: 42,422 words

 The cookies were for some friends. I don't know if I mentioned that, but I'm too tired to care at the moment to check.
 I know I keep saying this, but I'll share you the results of the chocolate chip cookies very soon. It just takes time to upload it via a memory card, and I'm running low on energy. I had 3 1/2 hours of sleep last night because I was writing, not paying attention to the time, took a shower, and had to figure out why my cell phone alarm wasn't setting on vibrate instead of stupid ringtones.
 I get major panic attacks when I'm startled awake by loud noises. Many times in the past, I've hyperventilated, had heart palpitations, suffered massive confusion, and had a sense of unreality. In my confused state, I'd freak out and fumble with the buttons trying to figure out how to make the cell phone shut up. It first started happening to me when I was about 14 or 15 and had an alarm clock with super loud bells inside it (My cruel-as-always aunt thought it work to make me unable to fall back asleep after my alarm would go off. She was wrong.). It's pitiful. Reminds me of my grandma when she'd jump at the sound of her old house phone howling "GOOOOOOOOO!!!" super loud when she'd accidentally set the phone to speaker phone. Although I felt sorry for her when she fumbled with the buttons a second or two more, I'd also laugh the next moment when she'd snap at it, "OH! SHUT! UP!" and slam the phone down on the receiver to silence it. ...Come to think of it, I think I've told you that same story before. AGH! I really am like a grandma! *facepalm*
 Despair aside, it's getting late, I want to write just a little before I head to bed, and I could have had that picture up by now with the amount of time I spent writing this. Oh well. Here's the picture of the peanut butter cookies I baked, though. The picture is on the very bottom of the post:
 P.S. Those who tried the cookies all said they loved them. Yay! ^_^ 😊❤ Making others happy makes me happy. It's one of the biggest things in my life that helps keep me going.
 Oh! I almost forgot! I might be too busy to write until after Christmas. I have to run a ton of errands and do so many things.
 Tonight, I went through the gifts I bought, and it ends up most of them are stocking stuffers from the dollar store. Eheheheheh.... 😓😖😩 Only 5-ish gifts each, and all but one each are small. Sooooo, I'm going to have to get some last minute things. But don't worry. I know where to go.
 I also have to buy myself new shoes. I'm not a shoe person, as I only have three pairs: One pair of sneakers I wear every day, one pair of dress shoes (I rarely wear dresses and skirts because there are too many creeps living in this city, and because I want to be able to run or get on my knees at any given time without worrying about a wardrobe malfunction. I used to live on farms, after all. I have no patience for pretty things getting dirty or damaged.), and one pair of snow boots (and it rarely snows more than 3 times a year here). My sneakers are worn out and are hurting my feet. I've been too busy to go to the shoe store, so I've been having to stretch out my agony for a few more months. What's crazy is these shoes only lasted me 4 months before they started hurting my feet and wearing out. And they're Sketchers! I remember when Sketchers used to make excellent, long-lasting shoes. But the good old days are called that for a reason, right? Nothing is ever like what it used to be. Everything made by big companies is over-industrialized, and they have money on their minds more than the hearts of their customers. It's sad, but I figure I'll just keep searching for good brands and boycott the bad ones. Not this time, though. I want to save money for gifts, so I'll go to the cheap Payless Shoesource and buy the only brand of sneakers they sell: Cheap, old Champion shoes. It's better than paying $50+ for shoes that will last 4 months. Champion shoes last me about 6 or 7 months before they wore out and abuse my feet.
 But first, tomorrow (Ha! Today! It's the wee morning of December 20th, after all. Speaking of which, it's 2:01 AM. Ack!), I have to go to the post office to send my brother's box (He's disabled and lives in a group home for adult men with disabilities), as well as a box to a... certain friend in Renfrew, Ontario, Canada.  ...Okay, I'll tell you. It's Matt McDougall. He's the one-man-show behind the YouTube channel, "50 Ducks In A Hot Tub" ( My family watches his show almost on a daily basis, so we feel like we've become good friends with him. I've sent him a package before, and he appreciates gifts and donations from fans all around the world. He's had European chocolate (His favorite!) sent to him, duck slippers sent from a random person, cute things sent to him from somewhere in Asia, even a drone sent from a fan from the USA. He recently broke it by crashing it in his trees, though. I feel so sorry for him. He tried fixing it, but something is damaged in the motors, so no more drone footage. For now. Maybe someone will send him a new one.
 Anyway, I could rattle on, but now I definitely need to go to bed. No writing tonight. ...I ...I don't want to close it. I really want to write. But last night, I got 3 1/2 hours of sleep. Time to be more strict with myself. *closes book document* It makes me feel bad not writing, and I definitely act differently on social media when I miss a night of writing (I either get super wordy and come up with wild ideas and jokes and puns, etc., or I get restless and not know what to say to anybody). We'll see what I'm like tomorrow (daytime).
 ...But again, I'm going to busy until after Christmas, so I'm not sure if I'll even write between now and then. We'll see where the waters of life flows and go with the flow of it.
 Oh, and if in case I forget that day: Merry Christmas! 😃 And it doesn't matter if you don't celebrate it. It's a holiday about love, and one way to show you my love is to tell you I care about all of you.
 Unless nobody reads my blog. Then I guess I've been writing to my imaginary friends and future self. It is like a diary, after all. I tell you about my day, what has happened, what I expect to come, what ends up happening instead, what I learn, what I hope, what I dream about, all kinds of personal things. But figuring how Google Stats tells me otherwise, that I do get views, I'll keep believing I have some very good listeners who listen to me ramble and don't interrupt me, no matter what. Lol.
 *Ahem* Time for bed. It's 2:39 AM, dummy! 😲
 Anyway, I wish you all happy and safe holidays and the rest of 2016, no matter where you are, who you are, or what you celebrate! ^_^


December 26th:
Document 4: 46,878 words

December 27th:
Document 4: 47,652 words

 Sorry I didn't update you on how my Christmas went. I've been tired lately. It went well. Better than last year, when my sister was a selfish snob who complained of having fewer presents than Mom, even though I gave them the same amount. This year, I didn't have as much money to spend (The bills have gotten higher.), and I didn't know what to give them, so there were fewer gifts, and a lot less "wow" to the gifts.
 I gave my sister owl pajamas, a small "mermaid" pillow, and dolphin-shaped slippers. The rest were smaller, insignificant gifts I can't remember. Mostly candy, I think.
 As for my mom, I gave her new slippers (Her old ones were making her feet itch), several pairs of Christmas earrings (She loves Christmas year-round. They were on clearance at the mall, too!), an Alice in Wonderland DVD, and a nice cheese cutter. It's made in Germany. The handle of our old cheese cutter broke a long time ago, and since she's the one who most often cuts cheese, I knew she would love it. This should save her hand, which has been hurting lately.
 You know what's funny about that? I had plans of throwing away or hiding our old one Christmas Eve night, and wouldn't you know it? I forgot to do that, and yet she couldn't find it anywhere a day or two before Christmas, anyway! 😄
 And the day was pretty relaxed. We stayed home all day, enjoying our presents and the company of each other.
 Oh, I forgot about my gifts: I received several slipper socks (I love those because my feet get cold easily, and my old ones had worn holes in the heels), flexible slipper boots (I hate the popular slippers nowadays that have rubber bottoms. I understand they enable you to walk outside, but why can't it be easier to find the other, non-rubber kind? The soft, flexible slipper boots keep my legs warm where they would otherwise not be completely covered by my pajama pants, and I'm able to wear them in bed, too. I used to have a pair when I was a teen, and I've never had a love for any other kind of slipper since. I'm really thankful my mom found a pair.), soft blankets, a large bean bag chair identical to my sister's (Because the little brat gets jealous all the time.), a Howl's Moving Castle t-shirt (Calcifer: "May all your bacon burn."), a glass mug for tea, an arm-knitting kit with instructions (I really want to learn how to knit, but I've failed to see where my knitting needles need to be and in which directions to move them. Book diagrams are often poorly illustrated, and video tutorials move too fast, so maybe if I didn't need needles, I'd understand the concept better? ...But I still want to learn how to knit with needles. I've been wanting to learn ever since I was a teenager. I think I need someone to help guide my hands and needles so I can see the directions with my own eyes. I'm spatially challenged, I guess. But I have a couple of friends who knit, so maybe one of these days when they're not busy, I can bring my yarn and needles with me and ask them for help. ...I'm a wimp when it comes to asking for help. I'm too afraid of inconveniencing people by taking up their "Me" time.), a 2-DVD set of the first season of The Amanda Show (which is a show I loved growing up), and I can't remember what else. But I loved everything given to me. (Last year, I was given several things that I never ended up using, and I feel bad about it. Example: Money origami book. I'm not good at making origami, so making complex creations using non-square-shaped paper sounds like a daunting challenge. I'm hardly much better than when I could hardly make an origami cat 8 years ago. I just have a 2D mind. Even when I write, it's often difficult for me to get sizes, shapes, and proportions correct in my head. But thankfully this time I didn't have to feel bad about anything other than one pair of slipper socks I know will be too tight on me, and I think I know a smaller, less fortunate friend who I can give it to who needs it far more than I do.)
 My sister had never watched it before, and I was excited about watching it for the first time in many years, so I was able to introduce that to her. I had very little memory of what was in the show, so in some way I was a little afraid that I might not like it as much as I did when I was a kid. I already felt horrible about my disappointed impressions of Rugrats, CatDog, Courage the Cowardly Dog, and a few others, but thankfully my love of The Amanda Show was renewed. Some elements of the show finally came back to me, awakening memories I thought I had long forgotten.
 So, after unwrapping presents and cleanup, we watched The Amanda Show, ate candy and cookies, and relaxed the rest of the day. After The Amanda Show was over, I went on my computer to check on family and friends who lived abroad, my mom baked turkey (We don't normally have a Christmas feast, but somebody gave the frozen turkey to us, so we figured we might as well eat it on Christmas), and my sister watched a movie I gave her (She loves The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe).
 Sweetie, my black Siamese-mix writing companion and best friend, was (and still is) in heat, so she hasn't had a clear head to enjoy her new toys, yet. Sandy, our black Labrador retriever, gobbled up the treats I got her, loves the big bone my mom found at the health food store, and loves sleeping on her new bed (She has hip displasia, so it's becoming hard for her to jump on the couch to sleep, so my mom gave her a bed to sleep on the floor.). Tree, our pet mouse (so-named for a tree design in her fur), loved the goodies in her tiny stocking and loved her first adventure inside her mouse ball. She had fun running around the apartment for a while until I put her back in her cage so she could have water and food. The silly mouse didn't want to come out of the ball at first, because she was having so much fun! But it had been about an hour of play.
...Okay. I need to head to bed. Last night, I was up late, and I only got 4 hours of sleep. I wanted to write last night and tonight, but I must hold myself back one more day. I wanted to focus on this blog post so I wouldn't keep you waiting and so you wouldn't worry that Christmas turned out horrible for me or something. It's 2:09 AM, Thursday, December 29th. Good night. ZZZZZZZZZ 😴


December 29th:
Document 4: 49,311* words

*Approximate. I forgot to stop at 11:59 PM or 12:00 AM and record my word count. I removed a few hundred words at 12:30-ish, so this word count comes close.


December 30th:
Document 4: 50,382 words