Sunday, October 9, 2016

October 2016

Ah, yes. Your immediate thought is: "Where have you been, Jennifer??"
Well, here's a list of reasons:

  1.  Once I finished rewriting the absolute beginning of this book (I thought I could summarize it, but then the story swept me off my feet and made me just write it.), I took a short break because my pinky knuckle was hurting. (I broke it back in 2008, and my witch of an aunt had no care in the world when I begged her to take me to the ER. It was hard to even get her to glance at it, and all she said was it was fine. It was swollen! At least she finally gave me ice after I begged her enough times. It healed wrong, but I can still use it when carrying heavy loads. I just can't bend it in a certain, less-commonly needed position, and I can't write longhand or draw for too long or too fast at a time, or it will hurt like somebody is twisting and pulling on it hard.)
  2.  My mom witnessed a shooting that happened right in front of her. She's okay now, but she occasionally has flashbacks of it. How it happened: My mom was walking to work early in the morning, when she noticed that a man was following close behind a woman. He started harassing the woman to give him her money and cell phone, she told him to leave her alone, he started rushing closer to her and yelling at her demandingly, then she spun around and yelled, "Get away from me!" She pulled a gun out of her coat pocket and shot him once in the hip, then ran. My mom stood there in shock and heard him fall to the ground. It sounded like someone dropping a big sack of potatoes. She called 911 from her cell phone and waited for police and paramedics to arrive on scene. While she waited, she had to listen to him moan and cry over how much it hurt, which really bothers my mom to think about. When police arrived, my mom filled out a witness report, then was filmed and questioned by our local news station. She ended up on TV. There were other witnesses, but since they were not as close to the scene, they got facts wrong. Then the newspaper got facts a little more wrong from there. She was not wearing a "white hat", she wasn't wearing any hat. Her hair was so light blond, my mom could almost be certain she bleached it. It was also not "shoulderlength". It was longish. And where it says her coat was "red or blue", it was red. The man ended up in the hospital, of course, but he's expected to recover. Police could not find her, but she did leave a purse or backpack behind, I later heard, so I suppose they'll search it for her DNA and find out who she is. Anyway, when my mom finally got to work, she was crying, so her supervisor, having had also heard about the incident (It shut down a nearby high school and had many people around worked up from hearing about it), had to heart to send her home for the day. I was still asleep when she got home, but I was having a fitful sleep from an uncomfortable dream I no longer remember. My mom woke me up a little bit before my alarm went off, and told me all about what happened. She was pale and suffering from nausea, but was strong about it. I was reluctant to leave her alone at home, but she told me that she would just go online and talk to friends and family on social media. I was getting off work early that day because I was going to have my flu shot, but I'd still have free time once that was over, so I was able to get home earlier than normal. During work though, because I suffer from having a vivid imagination, I kept having clear visions of the incident happen again and again in my mind. It didn't affect my work quality much, though. I was determined to not let it take over me. I focused harder than usual, listing out everything and looking around for anything I missed in my list of things to do. I kept briefly forgetting things and not doing them in my usual order, but I finished it all just in time for when I had to leave for my flu shot. When I got home, my mom was feeling a little better, but she still had waves of nausea that would come and go. After a while, she laid down for a nap. She felt better afterwards, but then a family member called, which made her have to talk about it again. The nausea came back, but it was gone by the end of the day. The second day was just a little better for me, but I was more scatterbrained. I guess I was mentally and/or emotionally exhausted. It took me about 3 or 4 days for me to feel okay again, but I extended my break afterwards from writing. I didn't have the mental and emotional energy for thinking about other peoples' (my characters) troubled, exciting lives. My own life needed a little vacation. Peace, quiet, and relaxation. My mom and I have gone through so much, it's unbelievable we've made it this far, but our life stories will make an amazing, inspiring read one day. My mom is slowly working on writing the story of her life when she's on break at work. I haven't started on mine quite yet. As you can see, crazy things are still happening, and I really want to write this book series. So much happens that interrupts my writing, I occasionally wonder if I'll ever get the chance to finish it. 
  3.  When I was feeling better and not thinking about the shooting anymore, I considered jumping back in the wagon of writing, but then I realized with anxiety that I was done writing the absolute beginning and had to Cut and Paste that document into the second (middle) chunk of the book, which was a later part of the beginning in a separate document. I knew it would take some extra thinking power and carefulness to make sure I was doing the right thing in putting what where, so I decided to wait until I was up to the task.
 So, as you can see, that day was yesterday. ...Er, well. The other day, that is. It's 1:27 AM of October 9th, now, but it was the afternoon of the 7th that I was finally ready to take up the delicate task. I couldn't get it wrong. I've already been there. In a slightly different way.
 I once was converting G3:DF to a newer file (because I was using a Sony VAIO that was manufactured in 2005, which used an old Google Docs version) and somehow the computer was messing up the copies and pastes, so parts of the book was missing. I had to backtrack countless times throughout the whole book (We're talking over 422,000 words!) to find and fix where the book didn't make sense. That was brutal, frustrating, and time-consuming, so that's why I was being overcareful yesterday.
 Oh! You know what? There's a 4th reason why it took me this long to write again:
 Art. I took to art to get the bad dreams of the shooting out of my mind. It helped. I took up the Inktober challenge on DeviantArt, so I was making pen drawings and submitting them on a daily basis. The past few days, though, my imagination has cut short. I guess I'm back in my writer phase again. Ugh. I wish I could make art and write regularly on the same days, but unfortunately my muses don't get along with each other very well. But I already warned everyone on DeviantArt that I would probably not do art for every day, mostly because I'll be getting ready for my cousin's wedding on Halloween. I'll be taking a train for the first time, as she lives far away, then I'll be staying the weekend over there doing whatever I can to help them get ready. Her husband-to-be will be dressed up as the Doctor from Doctor Who, she will be a surprise, and I (her maid of honor) will be wearing a dress and a horse head mask. It's going to be hilarious.
 *yawns* It's 1:51 AM, I'm getting sleepy (but still eager to write), so without further ado, here's the word count you've been eager to see. (Seriously, I wonder about this. Which are you most eager to read from this blog? My unpredictable life story, or the word count? No offense if it's just the life story that keeps you coming back. It's more exciting reading about something interesting than seeing that I wrote xxxx number of words a day. "Woop-dee-doo. Word count. Give us a published book, already!" In due time, my friends. In due time. It's twisting the nose of my patience, too. Believe me.)

Oct 7 thru 8
19,058 (beginning) + 163,450 (body of story, approximate) = 182,594 words total (writing and editing)


Oct 8
19,419 (beginning) + 163,586 (body of story) = 183,005 words total (writing and editing)
11:59 PM

To get the feel of the story again, after so long of not writing the second part of the beginning (middle document), I'm reading the book from the very beginning and working up to where I left off. Once I have the rest of that written, then I can connect that into the body of the story by copy and pasting it into the main document, then divide the document into more than one because it takes a long time for a document to load when it has a lot of pages. The "body of story" document is 926 pages long, and it takes too long for my patience for it to load.
...Whoops! I'm failing asleep at the computer! Time to publish this blog post and jump into bed.

Oct 9 - 10
21,103 (beginning) + 163,586 (body of story) = 184,689 words total (editing and mostly writing)
1:32 AM

 Whoops! I got the 3 and 5 mixed up and made Oct 8th's word total 185,005. It's fixed now. It happens when I'm tired: I get 3's and 5's mixed up because they look similar and they're my favorite numbers, which switches them around in my brain.
 Other than that, I don't have much else to say. I was originally planning on going to a local pumpkin carving contest and participating in it, but I just felt like having an easy, laid back weekend where I didn't have to go anywhere and just write. I've been suffering from allergies this weekend, too, because we haven't found an opportunity to vacuum our carpet. I'm terribly allergic to both species of dust mites. I'm on an allergy medicine right now, and I'll go up to two pills soon (Zyrtec), but it woud be good to find a way to vacuum without anybody getting in the way of that.
 My sister has been listening to music on her computer, and I'm too nice to make her stop in the middle of her music zone. She's also like a ticking time bomb and is hard to convince sometimes, so I often leave it up to our mom to deal with her. Maybe I'll take my chances tomorrow. She's been less emotional lately. You never know with autism, but I'll see what kind of energy level she's at. It's the only way I can see into her.
 Three weeks from this day until my cousin's wedding! *claps excitedly*
 I was listening to relaxing music while I was writing today. Sometimes my family was distracting me or my legs kept needing to move (Sitting all day does that to you), but I feel like I was able to get quite a bit of writing done. At least, it felt like it was a good amount written. Let's see.... *does math* I wrote 1,684 words. ...Yeah, I guess it was an okay amount. But I had to read and edit before where I left off. That took some time. Also, my talkative family was interrupting my concentration or talking to me a lot, but this time I didn't get upset or emotional. They weren't bugging me constantly, only continuously, which is not their usual way, but I was glad to see a little more respect from them. Maybe it was because I was sitting on the couch instead of my usual place at the table? I'll have to do some experimenting to find patterns in their behavior and my location....


Oct 10 - 11
21,930 (beginning) + 163,586 (body of story) = 185,516 words total (editing and mostly writing)
1:47 AM

I'm too sleepy to write anything right here. Other than this, of course.


Oct 18 - 19
22,871 (beginning) + 163,586 (body of story) = 186,457 words total (editing and mostly writing)
1:26 AM


Oct 19 - 20
23,883 (beginning) + 163,586 (body of story) = 187,469 words total (editing and mostly writing)
12:57 AM


Oct 21
24,836  (beginning) + 163,586 (body of story) = 188,442 words total (editing and mostly writing)
6:00 PM

 In the past two weeks, I started seeing an odd change in drivers' behavior on the road.
 First, I started having unexplained fears of getting hit by a car (with me as a pedestrian).
 That next week, I witnessed a woman not paying attention to oncoming traffic and started turning at a light, so the oncoming car (which was very close) screeched to a halt just one foot away from hitting her.
 Then, when it rained, people started driving too fast, spinning their wheels from hitting the gas petal too hard when the light turned green and almost spinning out on the wet roads when turning.
 When crossing the street, I had three close calls of getting hit by cars turning.
 For one of those times, I was tired that day and was eager to get home, so when they barely stopped in time and waited for me to proceed to cross, I irritably waved them on with a stiff, swift arm as though sweeping them from my sight, shouting "Go!" and thinking "I'm so sick of this!". When that didn't work, I stomped away to the crosswalk button pole, crossed my arms, and waited, looking away. They rushed onward, and I grumpily waited for the next light. I was tired of seeing stupid drivers.
 But the worst was yet to come.
 About four days later (5 days ago), my mom's coworker was walking to work and was going to cross the road at a crosswalk, when she saw a truck wanting to turn. She saw the man stop, so she proceeded to walk across the street, because the light said that walkers could walk.
 But the man didn't see her, starting to turn.
 He hit her mostly from behind, knocking her down flat on her face. She suffered hairline fractures to her ribs, a broken nose, broken jaw, broken arm, and scratches on her face.
 The man was very apologetic and polite, admitting that he didn't see her (not looking both ways), and bringing flowers to her hospital room.
 Two days later, the daughter of another coworker got into a car accident: She was hit from behind... hit-and-run style. She just suffered a little whiplash.
 Speaking of hit-and-run, a friend of mine who lives in another town, her grandpa got hit on foot by a car... hit-and-run style, which is worst of all. That happened about 6 or 7 miles from here.
 So, what is wrong with drivers, lately? Nothing I can figure out, but I hope people can grow their brains a little more, and quick. Because this is not something I want to be constantly afraid of. Sure, I see stupid drivers all the time, but this? This is an unusual level.
 It might be a change in the weather. I see it in people a lot, and I feel it, too.
 It might be that people are exhausted and not getting enough sleep because the holidays are coming up fast, so they are either less patient to get home or too out-of-it to focus correctly.
 Either way, I wish drivers would be tested more frequently for their knowledge in driving etiquette and be given less pity in court when they do stupid things on the road. When I was a kid, I met a guy who had seven DUIs in a row and still didn't have his driver's license taken away. How in the world...?
 Anyway, enough of me talking on and on about this. I hope the best for the healing of those injured, and I hope drivers will be more careful with their monster machines and remember that pedestrians still exist.
 When I was a kid, I had nightmares of being the passenger in a car and seeing someone's body hitting and breaking the windshield. It was bloody and terrifying, and it sounded loud and realistic. Sometimes I have fear of being that body.
 But fear is not welcome here. Not yet. I've been through enough worse things to say this is nothing.


Oct 22
25,500  (beginning) + 163,586 (body of story) = 189,086 words total (editing and mostly writing)
3:33 AM


Oct 23
26,062 (beginning) + 163,586 (body of story) = 189,648 words total (editing and mostly writing)
2:49 AM